Ruin

The ruin when the rain pours,

is nothing more than you're a whore.

The days are filled with sunny light,

it's a bummer there's no delight,

a life filled with dry embers.

Foaming up with charcoal black

The days are back,

not so black,

the color grey is on the way.

A base is nearly through,

Shaking, crumbling, building,

fumbling, taking, waking.

Your eye straight through,

I have too spheres, 
they are right here.

The hemi doth times Two

Look at me, 
look at you.

what color will shine few.

It's not the brightness of our task,

it is only singular to you.

But if you scar,

you've been to far,

be careful not to use.

The World gives us stepping stones,

to sink us straight through.

So, if you drown,

you will not be 'round,

for all there is to do.

K.A.P.

Slightly

I got born and now I'm here.

In between I'm full of fear.

I got back and I'm attacked,

not a day without this near.

My Mother spoke of my jeans.

Took so long to wash all these.

She would boast about there filth,

even though they washed right out.

Slow to breathe that day I heard,

not my jeans, my genes aren't her.

I took pause and stood with laws.

Temper took and I was shook.

The game was on, stable piece.

Could this be chess? Am I a pawn?

or could it be,

I was not Ten or Three.

She would way, not her cells,

only was a total belle.

She stood strong 

went on and on.

I just said I was gone.

Silently

K.A.P.

Hurting

Where did all the flowers go?

I watered them and gave hoe.

Why on Earth do you say so?

I cannot know but you should slow.

Look around before you crush,

the little ones who might have thrush.

Rotten words, coarse mouths, wrap it in,

before you sin.

Yikes! You stepped on me.

Did you mean repentancy?

I am often confused within,

will you tell me if I win?

Discard much and don't you rush,

I'm not much, I don't have trust.

I'm afraid of most that know,

I am put down and I don't sound.

I exist in simple lisp,

falter on, much resist.

Words are found, repent on mound.

Can you say that you are found?

Are you always right on this?

Do you find you can't resist?

Don't you know you have my wrist?

Twisting, Burning, Hurting this.

K.A.P.

Stinging

Retreat is something I don't meet,

retreat is something in your feet.

Do not run away,

if you came here to stay.

Why must we fly so high?

Sometimes I wish I was the sky,

big and vast, blue in nature,

go and turn from all this censure.

Never bind what must be free,

words and voices should be me,

let the sound become unbound.

Unique would be if I am found.

Where does one know the noun?

Sound in sentence, nearly round,

infinite in circle, square in pound,

I have a very long, long sound.

Tangled much like a snare,

snarls, growls and often blare.

Verse of violence in a stare,

kindness needs to rule this Lair.

Stinging comes so naturally,

can't you see I am barely me,

quiet voice in liberty,

do you know my inner being?

K.A.P.

Shout

Where does ones mind go?

Away and often to the show.

Each moment to full of glow,

difficult to steal the flow.

Wonder, amazement, absolute foe,

stay inside or loose the stow.

Vessel weak, memory strong,

long is sees, short come along.

What is gifted at our birth,

recover from our subtle dearth,

warm and not secure,

out we come to sea, the girth.

Fight for life, scream with strife,

angry, red, will give us shed.

Covered-up with blanket bed,

cold and livid with our head.

Infancy is much to stead.

Now what? Learn? Often churn.

Never get the loudness, stern.

Can't you hear I am near,

my lips may move, my sound may sear. 

Standing back, can you hear?

You speak words that are unclear.

I voice a song of "all for one".

Let me out! I can shout!!

K.A.P.

Put

A conflict of the mind and body,

leaves the soul in charge.

A naked way to meet a barge;

can be a way to stay enlarged!

To empty out the above,

Two stay and meet a way.

A generous lieing thought,

can be a way that's sought.

Relieve your process of your self.

Make way for something else,

challenging it may seem.

You may have to feel redeemed:

Proud of this? Don't resist.

Ensure that pride does not reside,

a mental pressure found.

Release what you have bound.

Honesty can be found,

if anger puts away;

all the stuff and the sound,

that others put your way.

Do not push, do not play,

a sounding board you're not.

Just a way to say, "Hey! Hey!"

is all we have to lay.

A road paved and enlayed,

which is engraved,

with gold bars of today.

K.A.P.

Rhine

They should jump upon the One,

as soon as Misery began to run.

Touted that they knew you,

to bad, so sad, only few, YA!

Who did make it? Who did take it?

Changed their will, in ease of still,

manipulate with body ill's.

All they did was fill their tills.

Rang the Bell, Call to War!

Words of Dell, computer smell,

making money, call him, "Honey."

Living Trust, like a bunny,
jumped and thought if funny,
broke the "will", reset accounts,
took it all and, they were small.

Never caught, no one cares.

All the victims in disrepair,
dead and gone,
no voice to song.

Do you care?
or will I share?


No one listens when I glisten.

Filthy rich and then they witch,
circle Coven,
that ain't lovin'!

Women strong,
Men are wrong,
just like man-witch,
you're a sandwich,
grit and grind,
then your mined. (rhine)

K.A.P.

Sigh

Sigh

Where do the good girls go outside?

I don't know, their awfully proud.

I wonder how they'd handle the crowd?

I sometimes think that I should bow.

Afterlife laughs so loud!

Preaching to the biggest Shroud.

Do not know if we can do,

all the things it takes to get through.

What will you rue?

Flavorful cups of Love:

I think not, it must be of;

Poisons of scribbled verse,

milk that I did not nurse.

She was not the one I need,

she filled with no heed.

She could only feel the greed,

money of trust: accounts;

were the fountain of her mount.

Harnessed thought, Collared smile,

bridled bile; saddled snot.

Definitely what?

It's not taught.

I remember; can't forget,

horrid days, empty pots,

flushing toilets, floating shit,

we did speak of this, Whip!

Dave and I, worse it seemed.
Pails of puke, it simply steamed.
Flew threw the air on sight of her,
held his hand, in Eden deemed.
Projectile vomit flew across,
landed on my putrid boss.

Held the pail, a Sundown route,
no way out of this I toot,
closed my eyes so I could cry,
journeyed inside of my mind.


Fear did grip us harsh beneath,
in our stomachs we did writhe,
pain from us, all could see.
My Mother could make-believe.


Not a story, just our strife.
Eden Sundown took his Life.
Suicide was his ride,
faster to the other-side.
I don't "no", I only cried.


Do you think that you'd care,
or would you say, "not to share,"
don't you worry, I won't stare,
at your LIFE or your DARE!!


Worried me all my life,
had no friends only strife.
Did you only Do or Die?
Wake me up, I cannot sigh!

K.A.P.

Tulips, Tulips

I thought I had a mother,

turned out it was an other,

not interested in any utters,

just wanted and took her druthers.

Wet with tears like rain,

never felt much disdain,

tried so hard to even rein,

bit in hand, saddle to the brain.

Either way I'd often blame,

my mind unravels with much; so much care.

I had to go and find my Lair.

Enter not the realms of truth,

Mothers, Fathers, do not rule,

raised alone, by the phone,

called for help, became a drone.

Sing a little song I know,

not very long, kind of slow,

Tulips, Tulips, even tone,

now it's all gone and I'm alone.

K.A.P.

Me

Squatting in the bedroom closet,

finding what I must deposit,

shoes were moving,

floundering instead of bossin'.

Brilliant light of thoughtful night,

securely in the breath and sight,

of all and none, they were undone.

Swooping, groping, each and one,

rolling over, I was done.

My air was hot! I thought not.

Better than the hamper sought.

Kissing, sweating, naked they.

Arms and legs ached away.

Did they quit?

or find the weight?

"No" to inquisitions whip!

I just only ached a bit.

Somewhere, Someday, I'll be a trip!

The way they are, I will scar.

No sum, No dumb, no way, Guitar

will play for me when I am Three.

Help me? Save me?

Please, don't play me.

I cannot say "me".

K.A.P.

 

Phlem

 Where have all the good days gone.
I did not get any on the bone.
Up and down the World would shone,
everybody seems to be on this Throne.

Consumed with themselves and lust.
I don't know why you thrust.
I wish so much for you to trust,
the girl in me is awfully; Bust!

Consequences, Evaluators,
People in general are often haters.
Sub-sequential to prudential.
My life has become resentful.

Stuck with people who tear my hair.
My mind is from over there.
Beauty lies in eyes they share,
I don't lie, Why? should I.

Ugly at my source and core,
look at me I was tore.
Mother, Step, Brother, more!
They won't stop, I am a whore.

One day, one hour, Won a moment, Whim!
I survive all of them,
Father, Sisters, Brother, Fem,
I will not do, I've got phlem!

K.A.P. 

Uncloak

I was born, at Two was broke,

Three baptized in Satan's Yoke.

Four was raped by incest taped,

I saw and Orgy and then was bait.

I hid in closets, behind closed doors.

I peeked through hinges,

'cause they'd snore,

sometimes sleep was hard to keep.

A beating of my tender feet,

the belts were leather,

no retreat.

I used to beg them to; bleep.

They just went by my little sty.

Tick, talk, tick, talk, tick, talk,

wack, smack; wack, wack.

Then it was my time to scream,

no one heard me, it would seem

Bloody stripes layered me,

tick, talk, tick, talk, tick, talk.

There will be a day, I get them back.

I turned Five with no alive.

Stopped talking at the age of sage,

beat me, hit me, slaughter my life,

I won't give up till it is knife.

Looked around upon that day,

think it was sometime in May.

Born in April, take that away,

won't grow-up and then one day.

Stuck at Four, I hit the floor.

Saw them deem I needed more.

Hid upstairs under the shore 

that was my bed, it was a bore.

Quiet, monotone enraged,

kept my silence 'till I'm of age.

Stand back you!

You fucking rant and rage!

I don't care I'm not an heir.

Hold your secrets,

hold your lies,

my brittle back will be disguised,

in depth of wealth,

in length of cries,

memories are in their eyes.

Run! Don't stay! Don't go away.

Little girl has gone astray.

Remember bath and shooting that?

Confused with minds that did not tack.

Harness thoughts, relieve and trot,

I remember your skinless not.

Hung on me for territory,

I did believe in nair you see.

I got older.

You got back.

I got a folder.

Emotional track.

I am stuck,

in all of that.

Now, smoldering in simple fact.

Four does stick,

you did lick,

beat blood red, my skin did....(R.I.P.)

You yelled, "GOD",

I said, "nod",

won't give up my nimble bod.

I grew up,

emotions stuck.

I got older,

emotions smolder.

The day did come,

I chewed gum.

You'll never know what you have done.

Dumb and deaf, my eyes worked fine.

Buried me inside my mind.

Can't rip out a thought and tout,

you are made to be found out.

No matter what, No matter why,

no matter when, no matter where,

no matter how; no mad cow.

You will be no longer vowed.

Your wedding plans of this shroud,

will be undone when the crowd,

screams for more,

screams for shore,

this floating vessal,

screams no more.

Will not drink!

So try so hard,

not to think.

Goodbye your Hand,

Goodbye your Belt.

Goodbye your Mouth.

I will not Welt.

Those injuries are deep you see,

I uncloak a mystery.

K.A.P.

 

Subtract

Stuffy, sweaty air to breath,

wet inside, Hole to see.

Yelling, screaming, SShh I hear,

climb in sis, "get in here".

Looking out, whisper, spit,

spraying out all her shout.

Hitting, banging, haul on out,

listen, seeing what they shout.

Hiding from the fists I fear!

I can't breath!  It's tight in here.

Father, Mother, I was hatched.

I don't like any of that.

Smashing, hashing, smoking, neat?

Drinking, blinking, this is Tea?

Let me out!

Put me back.

I won't shout!

if you don't tout.

You're not mine.

No Mom and Dad.

It's not sad,

if you add 

Subtraction.

K.A.P.

5/19/2009

In Response To Your Letter

To all the parents that speak of their foraging ways,


The joke of Trauma is no joke at all when you are "Three Feet Tall", but, as we grow, we find the need, to plant the seed and support the ones who still can't run from the Anger and the Rant.

Sounding a response:

I, as no "gentle reader" announcing no more than the simplicity of this letter, "to be", and "to arrive" at your feet as the doormat you most obviously need. This is so you may further your efforts to "twist and turn" in "mid-air" on the mat you perceive me to be. Forgive me in advance for not providing myself personally, however, I am very busy with the new dictionary I am writing for the authorities. This would be the polite thing to do, after, and, in order to properly understand your letter if you were just a layman and considering legal action due to the public forum you most obviously have taken here. Taking note to the seriousness of your actions, or, "lack thereof", this is good for us both, and, since a third party could be so much more objective than I, I had to behave properly, and produce for the prosecutors office, an explanation for the defense.

Side note: The D.A. seems very interested these days, thank you for your appeal it was very helpful in charging my case to the fore-front of all the Municipalities. This is for the consideration of "Malignant Narcissism" as a possible crime. Therefore, in due time, with "All" evidence, prosecutors "Can and Will" bring the prosecuted into a Court of Law, blah, blah, blah.

Bringing to the point of fruition, these charges, in a World that overlooks such things, "malignant narcissism/narcissism/enablers,etc." as "acceptably denial-able persons of existence" is not difficult. Due to the excellence and fluency of which I possess to interpret and write such a fornicating and certainly not made-up language, I have been asked to produce the impossible. Yet, I prove once again, "the impossible is only the possible waiting to happen", of course this has been with the help of all of you, due to the consistent behavior of Narcissists in general.

To alleviate my obvious ties in this matter, I have "not gently" but, certainly, "forcibly" changed my own "prospective life" from the endurable long and definitely "Charlie Brown" kind of scope, of, "them", "they", "us" and "I", "Wha,wha,wha" telling lies in verse, to being the "truth Sayer" that I most definitely am. Embracing, my destiny with grace and no appeal.

I actually found the entire thing, "narcissism in general", forced, not natural, against my own conscious, not "my thing", but, accepted it as yours, of course. As the polite and obedient soul I was raised to be. Please,excuse these run-on sentences and incorrect grammar usage, my mother did not let me finish school, or touch books, the piano, etc., you know how it goes. Opposite of what you so generously applied to you and yours. Same Venue, same stage-front, different script due to a "diagnosis" that I had at Three or Four years old.

Basically, I had stopped talking because I would no longer speak to idiots. Caused quite the "Coup" in the Home. It's difficult to manipulate a child with this type of outlook and decision making faculties. I had also become monotone, which doesn't seem to work for you people in the heat of your moments.

Being of no real authority, I can only propose that the letter you will be sending in response be fraught with caring execution of my opinions and a slight slip of tongue in regards to my opinion of the Law. Not making sense is first and foremost in all of your communications, noted, due-ably by everyone! But, some of us continue to try, while others of us are still "dictating".

You're constant driving of the point on how much you gave, give and/or tolerate, relates to nothing in regards to what you continue to barrage the public with daily. The exhaustion of any reader, listener or supporter of yours would come so easily, for, they are not related to this phenomenon. It takes years of the boggling of ones mind to even conceive the ability to trudge through any of your sentencing, or, structure there-of. Meaning, you gain your collective of drones support, before the outcrop is even planted or sent.

Feeling for the disastrous state of mind that others may be in should cause concern. However, not one person seems to be alerted to it. Interestingly, these people, that already know my story, and in most cases, having never met me, believe whole-heatedly that you are being falsely attacked. I am thinking off the top of my head now, but, I am guessing, that you must have to have your "court in session", jesters and the like, so to speak, before you can carry on with such a load of deception, accusation and determination to destroy or be destructive in your daily manner.

To deliver to the public a daily rash of what is not plausible anymore, is nothing more than an attempt to aid yourself in "plausible denial". You really need to watch CNN and hear the fact that soon people we will be able to know anothers thoughts accurately. My mother called it "discernment" which is "to perceive by the sight or some other sense or by the intellect;"

Essentially, he (the guy being interviewed on CNN) has written, and is speaking in public on the evolution of the mind taking no more than the next 75 years to complete such an act. So, your discovery of thought and action before you even speak, let alone write will be known immediately by someone like me.

To your future, to your exposure, to you!!

K.Placek

CC: To whomever you wish.