About This Hell

I was born, then I cried.

Before you new it I was Five.

In between was pain and lies,

lost my Dad and thought I died.

Can't remember most of this,

mostly 'cause I got hit.

Beatings frequent,

this I know, was my Step-Dad,

he was bad.

Right before, when I was Four.

I stopped talking,

this was true, acted out and hated too.

Don't remember Six and Seven.

I woke-up and was Eleven.

Years of pain, I don't know,

couldn't tell you, I was slow.

My brother left, he seemed to be,

Lots of trouble for me to see.

When I was Eight, my body ached,

my step-father beat us three,

Tammy, Eddie and there's me.

(This went on everyday,

my parents worried we might tell,

everyone about this Hell.)

Karen Placek

5/30/2009

My Dedication To My Self!

Life goes on!!

It's O.K. to be SAD,

It's O.K. to be HAPPY,

It's O.K. to be found.

It is especially O.K.

to get up when your

Down!!

With or without them,

I will not have to

hear their

Sound!!

It makes me crazy,

insane.

It's time to 

ordain;

A Life of Love complete!

Karen A. Placek

5/10/2009

The Soul Shatterer Con't

The world is full of these people. It seems that they have a purpose within themselves. It seems their purpose is to just destroy you with their words. Sadly, it seems I engaged with more of these type of people in my life than I did with any other type of person.  I found it difficult to meet uplifting people or just people that are even supportive.

It's funny how the words become or have the power to strike you down in mid-sentence.  I certainly am well-versed at that one particular experience.  I have watched how it takes place my entire life.  You would think I would be better at avoiding these type of people, but, I seem to run head-long into them.  I am working on this in my self, to find out the "why".

Soul shatterers / Identity crushers, its how I refer to this sub-category. They seem to cast judgment constantly when you are speaking to them.  I know that I was raised with this type of person, or be it persons.  It has been a life-long struggle to get through and not get caught up in doing the same thing.   It is so easy to judge one another and so difficult to support them.  Most of my days are filled with my own personal fears.  I am afraid of everything, the day itself causes me to feel fear.

As a child my days were filled with sexual, physical, spiritual, mental, psychological manipulations, altercations, deception and it seems to all add up to, a lot of psychopathic abuse. I do not believe there have been many moments of my life where this was not either happening right in front of me or very close by in proximity. I am finally becoming capable to make a stand against this constant barrage from my family.  It is so difficult to do this, you end up being all alone.  In my case, I have decided to go public with my story, it has helped the shaking fear inside of me and as night falls each day I become a little less afraid.