The hurt I dump on top of you
is not mine but you must find.I Stand up and off I run
back to face what you have done.
Here I come to say to you
that you were my mother, meant to protectleft me for people to abuse and neglect
never did you say, "I fret."
Let your conscience know I'm free
I'm your daughter, born of theeI'm not afraid of you or me
'cause you have a date you soon must meet.
I hate you now, like I did then
loved no one 'cause that was sinbeat by your words, pointing to them
took me in to do it again.
All alone because of you
I'm ready to do what I must tooI will not let you get through
this life you live bids you due.
I felt the power of your abuse
severe neglect was my nooseyour life, liberty or advancing age
I do this with the voice of rage.
I tried to love but hate won out
confused, locked up, let me toutmy revenge is all about
tomorrow, today is why I say.......
I won't stop until the plot
tells a story I heard a lotwinning all is what you sought
can you ever know your bought?
All of them that followed you
it's a sin I won't undoclose your eyes and know their blue
'cause you took, they wouldn't sue.
never putting things aside
you must win, you must abideinside the minds of those that hide
so that you know that you are high.
Never will I stop to say
upside down and backwards playlove is hate and lies are true
now this noose is choking you.
You will never rule my own,
they will know confusion roams
through the words and actions of
you and yours expose this love.
Liars,liars in this its true
heartless attacks of what I doin fear that I will show your hand
destroyed me when I wrote "God damn."
Rage and anger rule my days
recovery I won't engage
my life is focused on this page
you will be the one enraged.
I hate you! And to you, Mom, this means Love. This is what you always taught me. Love is hate and hate is love. Why would you do this to your own flesh and blood? It has never made much sense to me and it has been impossible to explain to anyone,ever. Until I found this on the web and there it was right in front of me. A dictionary that I agree with and finally it explains to the layman how confused a person like me might be as an adult. Should that same layman take the time to read this link, then they will be able to understand you much better. It explains the cruelty that you delve out to your children, your Grandchildren and to unsuspecting strangers too.
1 comment:
I feel your anger. Sometimes i think i would have been better off not knowing the monster my mn mother really is. It's hard to process that the woman who is supposed to love and protect you was the one trying to destroy you. Day by day, piece by piece. The hateful stares. The nasty one liners would pop up at any given time.I was told the most diabolical lies about my father.She wanted to make damn sure i didn't love him and if i did i should feel nothing but shameful for loving the awful man she told me he was.She tried to rape my soul.So i would not be able to love to be empty, like her.It must be a lonely, bleak existence for people like this.She tried to rob,steal and kill all that was good in me.That is of the devil.Too bad for her that she knows that i know what she is. You can imagine the lies she tells about me to "the family". I could care less. Just because your crazy doesn't mean your not smart.I wonder why god would let this woman have children but that's his business not mine.For years i had dreams of tornadoes coming for my house. I would look out the window and see them in the distance then frantically gather my children to protect them.Funny how your subconscious try's to tell you things.I removed my kids from her path of destruction.She would love to get her lying fangs into my babies to plant seeds of doubt about me.Now knowing that she has this pd makes the puzzle pieces of my past fit.I take no blame for the way she treated me.I was not in control.The anger i feel towards her has me musing at the thought of breaking her kneecaps with a baseball bat.She may be old and in bad health but she's the same evil witch as when i was five.Iv'e had a few meltdowns where i would call her, after having a few pops in me,but learned that this only fuels her fire. If she can get that kind of rage out of me than she's won.Being hateful will destroy your true character. And that's what she's wanted from the beginning.The sound of my laughter brings her to tears.To hear good report about my kids stings her soul.This is one way i can describe her "catching family in her web of lies, she covers her smile as she cries".In me god has broke the chain.I need a place to purge my anger.I'm grateful for sites like this one.You want revenge? Chose love. Then YOU win!
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