A Sexual Rival in Resist

A sexual desire for what I can taste,

you visit me in my dreams, I sway.

Taking what is yours to have,

 I shut out my liberty,

 to slave.

Ride me to the rivers of the essence of your existence,

drown me in your sensuality.

My prowess, the claws I dig into your frame,

to experience the height of your release.

Soak me in your sweat.

Beat me back with my fear.

Tighten my collar and hold my leash,

control my wild, please.

All so I may know what love is from thee.

Lash me to the cross I bare,

crucify, I dare!

Just to let me know,

you are my Master not my foe.

Blinded by what has taken me,

my sight is in my mind.

I am a Seer, a Reader, of the most dangerous kind,

I dine on sensuality.

I will go to your Lair to feel the bondage in the air,

a sadomasochistic stay.

Dominatrix is an interest, I journey.

The smell of leather excites me,

in places, I should blush.

Cuff me, protect me, keep me from myself,

for in this depth of sexual stealth

I breath to know your Manor.

A Triangular Life, sharpens the points to your draw!

SHooT!!

I speak from a Degree of Sight.

I tell not what I know,

but, rather, what I am blind too.

Why? beg the Question?

To answer in audible doubt?

A circle of self-gratifying bliss,

drives such disregard for Humanity.

Salute?

To Whom?

Bow?

To What?

I think knot!

But, I know who,

when, where and why.

Declaration of such articulate separation,

of what is known:

Is not a crime!

Nor, is it a Sin to me.

The mere acceptance of what exists,

is in itself extinction of all that may be.

Experience of what has been,

is Women parroting men.

Defiance of such a thought,

records your Soul and darkens your Heart.

All towards the indifference to the gender you employ.

Second to none?

This has issued your Certification of Death;

in less.

I stand for a mountain peek,

it mentors me! To see.

Free from this race,

I alleviate my burden upon this World,

I accept the Satchel of Cache,

and pay willingly to have beaten out of me,

the Crucifixion of your shallow wells.

A thought of just enough interest

to tempt woman and then....

Expose your inadequacies as selfish desires.

And, the wanted murder of man,

your words not mine.

i.e.

"Can't you at least take out the trash!?!."

An all time quote of the womanly kind,

expresses the way women whine.

All, while knowingly tearing apart, what?

Humanity

This blindness to what centers this word concerns.

Man!

Gotcha you good now.

To ignite within the conception, of what has consciously destroyed for years,

without repair:

I counter you in delight of not madness but greed.

For in a twist of this and a fake of that,

I will excel my own to testify to their own appeal of what they wish.

To prove only that your selfishness was not wrong.

But, purely self-serving and singular in nature.

In what can only be sterile,

which is not clean.

You have done all of this,

you have emasculated yourselves.

All in a feeble attempt to be what you already are,

ignorant to the process of Creation.

Pushing aside the need or want to procreate and couple as one.

As I withdraw from what I know,

only to remain a girl, I say,

"Whoa, Man"

this is coined to women for me.

For only in what is recognizable is there a plausible try to explain.

For a Lord is not the same without a Lady to source.

In this you may explore becoming a "Lady" to court.

For it is a Lord that may entertain a Lady,

not vice-a-versa.

Traveling the dictation of language,

break down the barrier of stupidity.

Recognize the need for Nobility!

For in this piece there is more.

"No Women to declare!"

I stare.

Only Subjects of the Crown.

A far easier way to remain

with what dictates control of Wars:

Kings, not Queens

Emperors, not Empresses

Pharaohs at the front,

I blood myself.

A haughty thought to Battles I have won,

in mindful respect to the Men I know.

I have slain with such Universal disdain,

to my own personal experience on what you call your Earth;

which is MUD to me.

A simple, yet, nightmarish view of one,

who knows nothing of civilized behavior.

Seeking only what is wild, to live free of this indignity.

Called Beast, Numbered 666, at birth,

only to know my son accepts with Liberty and Grace

his roll in this race.

So, heed your wares,

know your dare.

It's answered by only your own!

For second to none is "I"

and all I see is Man.

And they are First to me and mine.

Tempering.



Volcanic Sage

Do you follow after?

Are you in this life?

Where do I look?

Can you remember? Me?

Seeing into future terms with distance as the means,

to look into integrity and see just what it needs.

Loving not your neighbor, loving not your friend,

loving not your family, will only end in sin.

I think upon your history,

I dream upon your name.

The storm brings rain into my life,

so tears I do not shed.

I miss the things that I cannot know,

but seems so deeply sunk inside my being.

I see you when I close my eyes,

your guidance is my tune, play me.

The Stars do point,

Pyramids do show, the Sphinx does say, "Hello."

My Liege, dear Sir, my love is true,

where on this Earth are you?

I'm pulled and tugged from depths of low,

My Lord,

What have you done?

I go first to see the way;

directions by design.

I've seen it all, but in this fall

you roar me to yourself.

I'm split in two and yet I'm one

aching for the more or some,

relief from pain of lacking my Soul,

I gave my heart away too.

Do you? will you? claim this thing?

I'm called by more than man.

I am an it and often fit

the worst life in this World.

I know we are not born of this,

my hopes for freedom soar.

Return me to, the wild, I'm due;

I love you listen, I hope!!

Wrong Time, right turn,

I'll bump into, the Man I know you are.

Beware of people.

Jealousy:
Takes lives without a clue.

Amazing facts and heavy measure

a life that's looped with some.

I've been before, I'll be again

I sing this hymn for all to hear.

It this your Lore or Dream!

My Liege, my Lord, dear Sir,
can you relate to this mate?

Anubis spoke, in soft restore

and told me to hold true.

He said, "dear girl, he waits for you."

then Mother Nature choked, 

she holds me tightly too.

The power of this Tryst I know

powers me off to sleep.

To rest upon Anubis feet

while waiting for your yoke.

I still do wonder each time at night,
when the Sun does set.
Is this a joke or is it real,
does life begin with what is in?

How deep is the Well? Deeper, I'm shy!

I see the trip that you are taking in my dreams.

Winding down the Sands of Time, I plea.

Can you count the number of my days?

B.D.S.M. is my short for our Love.

To dabble in the darkness on the edge,

is it nice or is it dim, you fed.

Are you aware of bondage in the mind?

Or are you just a Sadist from behind?

Masochism is not a ready stance.

Do you know that "No" is not a dance?

Down the stairs I pull the curtains back,

the memories all come pouring in; I lack!

I am tired, but I do know a lot.

Would you come and take back what was bought?

It was taken, signed in red, my Soul.

I do dread, I feel that it's old.

Does a Soul from far away see me?

Did you Twin this one? Will you stay?

I wonder, 'cause I'm lost and so confused,

I need hugs and I'd like them from you.

I run to hold myself away from pain.

My family drops so much along the way.

I wish that I could answer and could play,

a better and more uplifting life's stay.

Afraid that I'll be left for what is worse,

I fight the urge to scream, "Get me a Hearst."

So, Death I know will answer when I call,

but just arriving home from when I was small.

Me, myself and I do settle in,

it's scary and I declare I am no sin.

I may be only 666 I'm told,

but Demons are my friends I take my Toll.

To cross onto the other side my friend,

I'm told to be so patient and to end.

I strike in wild, sharp release of this,

it's all the fear that shook me:

Emptiness.

I doubt myself and know that you are right.

When will you come and simply spend the night?

The jealousy so thick, my family is so ticked;

How close to me will you really actually get?

The power of not one,

but two, to three and four or five,

becomes my children more:

We' re out the door.

Lovingly from the dungeons I don't know.

I'll see you in the Stars to whisper "Show"

What to do? Where to go?

it's all the same, and always ends.

"No, you simply just can never go."

Saving for the graceful days of old.

I love you because I am so very bold.

If you are me and I am you,

then Twin Souls really can't be sold.
A safety net I'd love to just behold.

Relief of fright you hold tonight

in hands that I don't know; Yours.

But should you wish upon a Star,

then wish for me your best.

Bring back to me what I can't find,

a life and not a test.

My life, they joke and boy they jest,

at best I am their blame.

All I am, is Garbage Can, my life is not so cool.

Dear Bluntie Sir,

I have to go, I need to rest my mind.

I will see if I can go and visit in a dream.

Yours Truly,

Me

999 or 666: A Blunt Post is, "A Mirrored Reflection," Sees!

Six, Six, Six and/or Nine, Nine, Nine in reverse!

The rumble of the motor bikes,

it gives this girl some rest.

I would fall fast asleep

upon my shoulder home.

I love the road, it calls the wheels,

that hugs the Biker, right?

The smell of leather, the taste of flare,

a quicker way, do dare!

Peaceful rain, the Ocean clears,

professionals own the road.

So, slip and slide or crashing show,

no worries, I know, no fear.

I go for walks, I bounce around,

I saw the black thing square.

A dirty glare for all of them,

that run me off this road.

I thought the sidewalks safe?

When I tumble, if I go;

before my time or date.

I blame the many, in record:

I'm hated, so I wait.

My heart is good, I gave away

at Three I thought it wise.

My Soul was sold and I did sigh,

my Guide was then so dead.

How do you do the things to who?

If you suffer some.

A worse life, I, am afraid,

I win the race, not tight.

I dashed, I paused, I sat, I sought.

My Mother said "You bought."

With support of church and sort,

possession was my way?

You have been cursed,

so don't rehearse,

666 is your stay.

I didn't know,

that this was so,

get back before I blow.

Now that I am not the beast,

I heard my son say clear!

I'm not confused, just been used,

and Love is on the way.

What to do with all of you,

a number you do need.

For eyes are mirrors, reflect the thought,

it's queer but rather good.

The odd idea came from me,

but Ed said he'd approve.

So if your bad, it writes the Runes,

of 666 in all but doom.

'Cause what I see is true.

A 999 from not behind,

a flip in time to make what's mine,

the 666 I knew.

In the End, what is sin,

is good by know mistake.

So, nature etched inside your eyes

the liberty you seek.

"Freedom"

A Prison holds,

the Bars were sold,

to Death to free his friends.

To say, "Thank you,"

He gave a clue,

that way you'll always no!

A Poetic Seers Deed to thee,

is innocence from below.

Court Closed.

~

It is I, Hi!!

The Death of Justice; The Light of Truth: Hammering the Guillotine of Time.

While Death doth sleep,

where does thou go?

To the mattresses,

of Prisons Row?

Guilt or Innocence,

this land does Lie!

Condemning Men with judgments then,

years do pass, a century may end,

just to find you're called again.

D.N.A., a brand new thing, a play of R.N.A.?

Upon the Chess Board of this life,

the dice are thrown straight threw.

In thread barren lint?

A single strand.... of silk?

Should it prove it wasn't you,

your years of outcast, through?

To return to freedom stare,

a jail bird becomes your due.

An easy prey to pity too,

I'll tell you from the grave.

Darkness wanes, while Death is out.

He suffers much the same.

As fate may have and destiny dictates,

a problem plagues the few.

Intolerance and fear of truth that's sought,

falsehood found it's way.

The courts pronounce,

a sentence sound,

yet, let the guilt walk free.

Where are the ones, I see inside,

a minds eye does give sight.

To all the ones, who know whats right,

a girl who swam all night,

that's me!

For Men it's more

than I adore,

for in the World's more.

Such sentence served, though undeserved,

will be what does uproar!

For into night: Go not to Light!

A blinding, womanly plot.

They want you dead and in their bed,

at least your safe from this.

The youth that's here will not drink beer,

injustice is to tall.

But, we will fight and do it all

until you feel near.

Upon that day when fear doth leap,

for Women or the Fool.

We might be scared,

we may not scream

in silent humble chord.

The guarantee of so much more,

we hold your spot it's true.

With Death Court Closed,

the Gavel slams

and Guillotines ring clear.

That's weird.

One mistake, makes the lands courts wrong,

a jury of your peers.

So while you're in and we are out,

keep faith in facts; We swim!

Drowning in the site of phlegm,

it's gross, I do agree.

Ignorance is known to them,

and idiots I hate.

Although we hang ourselves so well,

the Monkey Bars are fear.

For if they give, I'm sure they won't,

we will land in tear :(

Will you let go, to guide your Soul,

you will, you every might?

In Afterlife or dreams at night, when you go to sleep:

Please, dear Sir, dream of me,

I'm scared and I am free.

A Sage from the present to the past,

I call my Twin Soul too.

Will you look for him at night and testify my say?

I'm nearly through, eternity seems overdue,

I'm tired of missing you.

Split my Soul, so I can go, I'll miss you when I'm old.

Thank you.



The Want, the Why and the Where! In pieces.....shattering Souls of Old: Are you lost or found?

I walked a mountain to see a safe,

arranged, thought out, a place to be.

Disaster strikes, warnings nigh,

contagions seem so NEAR!!!?

You watch, I listen, alarms are weak.

When Mother Nature speaks,

I silence all I "Know" to do.

Platinum goes on sale.

Silently I move away,

towards, Falls and banks, I crawl.

Trudging through, I can't explain,

a mouse trap snare, undo!

Continue on, in-spite of talk,

out loud I hear myself.

This all seems endless,

I quit without a rank.

I flip and flop,
to know my shoes,

a tennis player hits?

Upon what's won but lost for you,

Venus closes in.

The anger urges me straight, threw,

an Ice Cream? beautiful girl!

The shock of words, not grateful, heard.

By more than just the....; Phew.

Onward, forward, how 'bout you?

The Clouds make faces too!!

I saw a Fox, a Goose, a bridge

and then I skipped in fear.

God forbid, you speak of Times,

or talk yourself on through.

For do not help,

in night, mid air, you'll hear.

Lost your Will?

Inhibition too?

I cannot sleep,

can You?

My eyes don't shut,

their glued on this, a Gorilla, is it mist?

Striking over, coming ten,

do you know their mend?

I would say, Extinction speaks

so loudly: Deafening.

I will Duck, and, you can Goose,

while we go plant ourselves.

Missed my chair, but I will share,

"Do your parents swell?"

Tears will cry, wept they will.

All about this time.

What's for you? Whipper; Who?

I didn't do these things.

I do walk and sure they talk.

Of girls and boys that drop.

Suicide, a brand new rate, a measure.

No home, no food, no stop.

Evolution knows our way,

the children don't deny.

A choice for you, a way for us.

Remove all that you trust.

For Man is good and I can't scream,

in troubles of the night.

I am told, "Shut your lore!"

In a whistle of this score.

Abandon them that will not win,

nature bands the young.

The Crows are black, the Sparrows small,

like me, like her, I deed.

To Mother Nature, calm and true,

The Moon, he calls a new.

I choose to live, so, I can see

that Spielberg is so too.

Right, not wrong,

but may you see,

like her, I know the speech.

Articulate and language born,

beguile, English speaks.

The Brits maintain, for lack of sewn,

they ship to us tonight.

The strength of Rome, a Satan's Priest,

the Pope he rarely says,

"Don't panic World, we are police of the Spiritual and Unique."

All of Congregants above

relieve, relief your pain.

I see your bleed and dying need,

in this I do believe.

Translation of the bible freaks,

I wonder what they know?

Not so much, I fear, I thought;

The Catholic Priests are HOT!!

In this I must so tenderly agree,

with my new and age old friends.

For Quinn said, "Wait," and Gere says, "Run,"

Hollywood was in the gear.

Doth park this Martin, Steve he is, a trill, a mill;

No game!

For if by Will or movie rights,

the Planet Closers cheer, Hooray!

Then Johno looks for sisters three,

and Lauren says, "I'm here."

Oh Dear, my mom has left for me,

an older one to know.

So, sweet Kathleen and to close Beck,

repair your rivalry.

I sway.

Not for me, I say to you,

my Mother speaks the truth.

But, just in case, Lauren interjects,

again, my best friend on the move.

A Kati here, a Morgan there,

Wenzel neighs retreat.

It's all about the Palace tout,

for ponies and horses, so dear.

It's clear.

The Taj Majal



An Embrace of World Ignorance: Mother Nature Implores!!

Communication made hard not good,

do not disturb what's 'round.

A foreign place that seems so real,

an infant raised embrace.

Shock of strength, her age doth wane.

A Doctor she does need.

Do you bury or do you smoke?

Sunk from deep within.

Rounding corner, behind closed door,

a gentle, scary view!

One eyed man: Tall like you,

a ghost like white at night.

Giving way in threatening means;

He walks towards wrong young girl.

I turn to sight a hall with more,

I hit a common being.

Turning yet once more the light,

a bright and blinding path.

No! No! "He screams," in hands appeal,

fell backwards in dismay.

Running rage of backwards Sage,

I see the sight of You.

I follow all to sleepless fall

to recognize the view.

Squishing human bodies for the comfort of the stuff.

Padding mattresses with Seers Poems,

"What the fuck are you?"

Why?  Too!

I saw it in a dream.

Miniature, trapped by hate, by Man? or is it more?

Where lies this place that I do see?

Small containers, Isolation?  One and singular in spot.

Waiting for gifts from heaven,

know its just a strange , weird chute.

A physician reaches for your head, saying, "Who are you?"

Quickly leaving, out I go; to the trees, the Redwoods sway.

An Ocean delights in just one wave,

a Tidal Pool display.

The Bridge won't cross, a Golden Gate,

the waters through this point.

A swamping of this rocky place,

over the top, I one!

Searching, looking for Nature's Child,

she screams, "I'm over here."

I see you sweets, the Sycamore,

breezing Wind my way.

Hold still, don't move, I freeze myself.

Mother Nature speaks the truth,
a gentle, soft, embracing hug she says with  lots of love,
 "I will come to you!!"

Do not speak, this language lost,

to Eternity and Time?

Will you say, once again,

"The grass, the grain is mute."

A whisper of my nature speaks,

"Let go, don't hold to this!"

The spin of green, the shock of lean;

the fat just must not go.

A little extra, pads the way.

Forcing hands of Old.

Poetic Seers ring whats true,

to falsify the test.

Passing only to barely miss,

this miniaturized Hell with You.

The Forests sing, a National Hymn,

"People seem behind."

"Is it Heaven or is it here?"

a celestial battle cry.

Your business not: I plea to thee,

"Back off this disagree."

Not only is it overhead

but, nothing to do with your be!

Mere Human Beings, Humanity and maybe people too.

You shove concern in Godly turns,

your invasion of whats not yours.

I think not, Nature screams again,

"Creation is my friend, destroy what walks upright on two;

and make it seem relieved."

This fight, this spat, between what is,

remarks your vicious sight.

Become not blind and have no mind

if all you do is from a screw

to sport or hurt the few.

For when you close your eyes at Eve,

a third lid opens too.

I will see through, don't confuse,

she sleeps so soundly, Lew!

My dear friend Moon, from distant Stars,

the one I see you two.

Please repair and run from there,

for Elenin is threw.

Dream or Wake, which one is reality or look?

I lost myself in a dream while here,

by reality of night in Dark.

Is life so much more in light?

Or, do dreams bring emotional plight?

Imagine not which may be true,

upside down in radiant view.

The Sun and Moon do guide well,

a Calendar of sign.

The fright at night when dreams seem real,

can you be so sure?  Unreal!!

That when you wake, for goodness sake

 have you kept what you cannot take?

Sanity!!

A Soul knows flight, deep in tell,

a movie plays the show.

"Insidious" a name, a title,

of a mad hotel.

Watch it soon and in that plea

of fear or horror at night.

I journey long, I journey far,

a curious kind appeal.

No sleep will be, no food to eat.

A run of the unnatural, surreal.

They all seem dead, but, they do see,

your life of light, a deal?

Stealing, talking, they don't care,

to me they all seem dead.

A "Wigwam," both back and forth,

I hope for you to hear.

The "Undead" of the Hell you know

release their Souls in there.

I warn, so torn, I'm tired too,

a Blunt sword doth know you.

Upanishads Sage

I live on a bus with Eight other Men! Touring, Ugh!!

Wish for what you may not know.

Remember "Three Strikes" you're out!

Wondering what would be best?

Me too.

Take a slow and sleepy rest,

before your final test arrives.

Is it Magic? Is it Unique?

Could it be a different type of Spirituality?

Do you cry? Or do you prey?

The claws you show may be your words,

watch out what you say could shout!

Would it matter if you sharpened all of that?

Clawing steel or ripping minds?

I'm a predator; a Tiger line.

A much better and kinder sign.

To Man, to me, to all who see,

a Sage is what is I.

Listless voice in harder noise,

a purr or rumbling roll.

Questions scream, answers melt,

as information Teams:

with all that silence and record,

stand well; stand back or steam.

The furry from such ill abash,

you force opinions of...!

Your concern, is my relief,

an "Eight Men" out, you "Tout!"

What now you say it's all about

a day and not a shout.

Claiming what cannot be yours,

I think a wondering pause.

For I do wave a different shore,

my snore is heard by few.

The Ocean speaks with gentle spray,

a raindrop with a tear.

Don't worry my dear, girl you see,

a pearl you are to me!

You're so fine but in my recant

I worry my love for me.  

The Trees stand tall, to echo small,

a redwood trumpets well:

Go to the Falls, cross the Stream,

he waits inside this dream.

To beam a glimpse of a smile,

from you to see a sage,

This truth will shine a blinding sign,

of life and not a scene.

My strong sweet man

a Clam you're not; but Oceans say they need.

The strength of what you are made of,

a line of Bengal "Me."

Good luck, don't duck, the Sea's do say,

"Rogue girls are hard to find."

Release your heart; for souls will twin,

the start from your begin.

One thought to know, so don't be slow,

you may be counted in.

Calendar Days; Seeding in Time

The days are sporadic,

cruel and mean.

I look into eyes,

I see the unclean.

Spirits of past,

Demons of friends.

When shall we pass?

From freedom to reign?

Mining for Oil?

Mining for Fear?

It is just a mineral,

that is in all of here.

Walking, talking, blocking.

The blabber annoys!

Chattering of some

rattles the rocks.

Finding your way,

from this turn or burn?

Which is the hurt,

that causes the turn?

In the end,

it's just simply the blurt:

One of the many

making the mirth.

The Soul Shatterer

The ability to enjoy the creative corners of your own mind begins with recognizing you have "Creative Corners" and the belief that your exploration of such places is for you to find and enjoy. Sharing such, with anyone is also for you to decide, we all are familiar with the negativity which flows so easily from the mouths of others, especially when you are speaking positively or speaking of events that cannot be proved or backed up with sustainable facts. So deciding to share anything out of the ordinary is a personal decision for good reason: you will never be as shot down with such deadly force by another being as when you open your mouth and say out loud, "I had the most incredible journey in my own mind last night.” Most will respond by saying, "Doing drugs again,” "Hasn't anyone told LSD is illegal.” You say as quickly as you can but your lips do not seem to be on your side which is not helping you at this point, "No, NO, I did it.” You will not even get to finish and they interject again, "That's not possible, what are you nuts.”

These words that they utter with such disdain become part of the language that is known to me as the Soul Shatterer. Cruel and unkind for no other reason than this person is mean, they don't even want to hear what you are saying but they certainly have nothing but doubt and disgust about what they are pretending that they are not hearing you say.

But, because you shared for the first time, a very personal and incredible experience, it changes you forever about sharing much of anything, metaphysical or not. Why? I believe it is for the following reason, when your soul is shattered with another persons words, the repair of such a fragile and delicate part yourself is beyond difficult, it is nearly impossible to do. However, understand this, and it truly will only take your own mind to have the mind set to decide that Independence is not separating from the crowd or the World. Rather Independence is actually joining the link to Humanity. The mere fact that we can be independent of one another in our thoughts, yet we can stream together as one in our actions is or shows the imaginative capabilities of our minds and explosive natures of our thoughts, created into pure, positive energy. Talk about protection, a heat shield or a magnetic force surrounding each of us, put it all together and I bet that sparks would become the enlightenment of the elemental source everyone is searching for independently.

We truly are the most unfortunate/ fortunate gifts to ourselves, yet, we need to be. I am assuming at this juncture that it is this way, in order to progress with firm and positive convictions of ourselves, Independent of each other, yet reliant on one another, I began to wonder if I would ever be clear with myself, because which is it? Or is it both? Maybe not! Reason for me, I do not want to stream with the negativity and yet I find myself wrapped up in it again and again. I get so mad at myself for being so stupid, falling prey to such cruelness, I kick myself as I try to heal myself from the pain the words of another person, that seemed to just fall out of their mouth. The person has no care or concern, just blah, blah, blah and rambling on as they speak so fluently this language that shatters souls. They must be some linguists, because when they are done before it seems they began and they seem to just turn to go on about their day, they don't even look back.

There I am, they left me a big pile of crap, that two seconds ago I would swear was my soul. Now it is unrecognizable, hurts like no other hurt you have ever felt. It is a pain inside your physical being, yet ice, aspirin, pain killers, heating pad, no drug touches it. It just hurts, as if the words were an actual pointed spear with a point of unimaginable poisonous strength that has the piecing explosion of, well I cannot think of what to compare it to but you never saw it coming. The exactness of such a strike is done with such expertise and experience that you are certain it was done on purpose. Yet, the shards are still felt, as the razor like wounds begin to bleed inside your very being. Help!, you cry, plea and scream, to no avail.

Well, I believe it is done on purpose by cruel people who have become soul hunters. I believe that cruelty runs rampant and that people embrace this perceived ability as some new found power play over humanity.

Death cradles Me!

I was young when I had a plastic bag put over my head suffocating me to death.  I had been playing in the basement of my mother's home when from the dark a man came from behind me to slip a bag over my head.  He wrapped it tightly around my neck, I feel it like some kind of thin cord today.  I struggled. I tried so hard to get it off from around my neck, I couldn't do it.  I died.

As I tried to breath, it became wet inside of the bag, I was scared.  I began to gasp, the bag sealed itself against my face, terror overcame me. In what seemed as if it was a minus moment, I was standing outside of my body staring at myself on the cold floor.  I was laying there with a bag over my head, lifeless, no longer breathing, no longer struggling fighting for what was gone, me.  I was still, seemingly dead, nothing inhabited my listless body, I was gone yet still there, aware of what had just transpired between my father and I.  I stared for what seems like an eternity, I am still baffled by what I saw, what I experienced, what I did or what I didn't do to disappoint a person so much that they wanted to kill me and did.  No one else had remained in the room.  It was cold, the light was dim as I stood trying to understand what had just happened.  I was dead and at the same time trying to figure out what to do, where to turn, who do ask the question that kept haunting me; Why?  Even today I find that I stare at myself in that dimly lit and basement grave. I see my body at two or three years old laying four to five feet from where I am.  The site of my own death has been haunting me of late, I am alive and yet I am dead.  I cried for the first time last night over my passing as a child.  I mourned myself, my existence, my murder.

I died and had no funeral.  I was killed and there was not trial.  I was murdered and there was no conviction.  I left this place and argued upon my arrival on the other side that I had been killed. Stating that I was dead and I did not care if my body chose to live on without me.  This is who has returned me to face this tragedy for the first time.  After over forty years I walk this Earth once more, no soul, it was sold, no heart, I gave it away.


No one has ever mourned my death, not even myself until today.  I had passed into another realm, refusing to return. I lived in a different and much more compassionate place, I learned to love because they loved me.  Knowing that my body continued but in fear I would suffer my murder again, I fought the return to this horrid earth, screaming, "They will just try to kill me again and again until my body walks no more." How can it be that I am back here again? I could hardly breath last night as the pain began to roll over me about what it is that I still see with such clarity.  I feel as if I have been absent in life and now I have been shunned by death in some sort of appeal on their part for me to know myself in humanity.

Due to the freakish insistence of Nature I seem to have been returned in an attempt to reconnect myself with this shell of a body that was left for dead so many years ago.  As I am forced to acclimate into what you refer to as humanity, I scream for the depths of Hell to retrieve me and take me back home.  I have come back into my body only to find that I am still hated by my family, as they wish for death still today.  As I begin the process of catching up with myself, my life, or lack thereof, I find that the hurt is as devastating to me today as it was on the day I stared at my dead body on the cold cement floor of that basement home.  No time seems to have passed between these moments of fright, of horror, or of this reality.


How do you ever tell your truth if your truth cannot be heard and is shot down with hatred from strangers.  Malignant Narcissists/Sociopaths are everywhere today, forcing their opinions down the throats of unsuspecting listeners.  The few of us that find the courage to speak out on behalf of ourselves, testifying to the wretchedness of this World and what it has done to us are threatened and stalked.  Multiple attempts to destroy our lives by family, friends or strangers are made while we are making feverish efforts to recover all that we have lost.  This is done with zealous and reckless disregard by these self-gratifying monsters. They are wheeling such despair into our lives because the fear that they will be exposed for what they have done.  They are not creatures of the dark, they are human beings, your peers; they are mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, cousins, aunts, uncles, friends, strangers, sociopathic creatures walking along side you today.


Although my death went unnoticed, my return to this life will not go without address.  For in my death I found my life and now living is death to me.  I was striped of identity, referred to as an "it" or a "thing" by the ones that perpetrate their crimes against humanity.  I was voided of importance, left for what is not there; Care, Love, Compassion.  I declare to you a deathless life of a child never mourned, never laid to rest, never seen, not accounted for, just left to raise herself in a startled fright of what had been on that terrible night. 

Karen
9/15/2011

'Cause

My power lies in self-review,

my nights reflect this thought.

Do, you, can you, not surf through?

The Ocean of my Sees.

I am frightful of my Tot,

she lies from deep within.

No untruth does she speak,

just naps from deep, not Ten.

I often wonder why she sleeps,

it seems to be the place,

resting from all the creeps,

that come up in her place.

My mind is like a steel trap.

Existing only to do that.

The little one who hides inside,

speaks truths, in lies she rides.

Confusion, up and down,

what seems right is wrong for me.

What seems bad I write.

One day soon I hope to seek

a playmate not a lie inside.

Just wait, 'cause I won't die,

and then I won't live a lie.

I will no longer reside inside.
I might come out to see,
a brand new birth of me.

K.A.P.

5/15/2009

A fellow blogger explains further the danger of speaking out:

http://house-of-mirrors.blogspot.com/2011/05/malignant-narcissists-stalk-souls.html