I learn so much when I lose. It's not that I win anything very often but truthfully I win the most because I lose. When I lose, which with a little deeper thought could be related to being "the blame child" or "the scapegoat", I learn what to do and not to do by watching the winners. Winning is fantastic, exhilarating and anti-climatic. What do you work on in yourself if you have won. Losing makes you know that there are things to work on. Last night was the first time I won against the horrors of sleep. The kindest beings, if you will, surrounded me in an incredible understanding of shielding me from the terrifying feeling I have when I sleep. Normally, I scream in my mind when I close my eyes at night. I try to imagine this one man and listen to him singing his songs, I draw some comfort from this thought. In the end, in my minds eye, I have my arms wrapped around his neck and my head on his chest.
Does anyone else have nightmares or flashbacks when they turn in at night?
Thanks so much for the ones that covered me inside of my fear 12 hours ago. I slept and enjoyed a night free of gasping, screaming and waking up in a fright. A wonderful imagination of what could be for me brought me out of the losers circle and comfortably into the Winners Circle. I achieved sleep comfortably, thanks.
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