Monday, September 5, 2011

To Hell and back, to shoot God dead, Live

Back in the day where I fought death for my life.
I remember the ones who came to keep me in this scene.
Caught in between.

I can see the light,
Run, you will be blinded if you walk into what I saw.
I can hold the fight,
I will never go the way, popular or not.

I would rather be in this space,
then know that there is no race.
You will never know me, Rote!!
Memorize what I see.

Run and know that there is no place to go. 
Keep it tight, believe it all,
I was dead, Right? 
Get back, I'll scream,
 I'll hold my own court tonight. 

 I know, I see, I am!!
I don't need to do the things that you do.
  I can see this place as it is, is it life? 
 MY body lies there in front of me,
moving, fighting off those boys.

Years to know that it was cum drowning me.
All around my nose and mouth,
Can't breath, sucking air, through bubbling, thick, sticky stuff.

Keep your eyes open
Stare, Harder,
don't blink, they are on top of me.

Cold basement floor be my back.
Eyes open, teeth ready for..........
Look at them, DON'T FIGHT!!
Relax, deep breath, Hold, STARE...........

right yourself in your mind.
take note of myself on the ceiling,
look to see if I am there, Yes!!
Don't Run, just get louder.

Use your mind to control what is happening.
Look into the eyes of death and tell him to fuck himself.
Return to where you can look into the eyes of the abusers,
boys hard, entry is good, it is all over me, Stare, There Eyes.

Look at me, look into my eyes,
Fear be gone,
Horror no me not!!
Death is mine tonight.

Eyes settle into the deep blue of my steel blue eyes staring at you,
Rock your head back to gain the strength to know that hard on a moment ago.
Look back mother fucker,
Yes, our eyes meet yet again.

Let anger enhance you,
Let the pain of death go from me and enter you,
through nothing more than I am on the ceiling firing you into a space, It's to late.

Hard on gone,
floppy dick,
can't go in to the place that you found.
Push, shove, missed again.

Anger rise in me so that speech becomes the delivery of the devil's words himself.
Pitch my voice to be from where I have gone,
throw into the air an audible tone that makes the beings in Hell raise goose bumps on there leathery skin.
I command myself to be the one that commands myself and controls this room with no more than my being.

Waste the minds of the boys with the knowledge that I have split from myself.
May hate reign in this basement lair.
May I know your name,
remember your hate,
Know your anger  and use it all for myself.

Now know you are on top of me with a limp dick and laughter from the girl that you forced.
Raped and taken by the boys that wanted to fuck,
Fuck me now, Never, Your dick is limp.

With the knowledge of Death,
With the acceptance of my soul being sold,
Knowing that the words I carry to this world is wrong,
Curse me from the deepest Hell!!

I accept, nothing and I take more.
Command my mind to be free of mistake and give me the Wisdom to speak

Look at me, remove your body from mine.
Know that you have violated a child for money that cannot be payed in coin.
Dollars are charged from the depths of the record.
For death is not mine, but, life shall pass from me to know, accept and say,

I curse you to this land,
may your memory of this rape be in your genes and multiply in your cells.
May your children carry the memory of this time,
may it haunt all that you never do and may it be nothing that can be found, Until........

the day, the day is now.

Hello, it is I, the one who preached nothing but found,
I am alive,
I know your name,
I remember your face.
Do you feel me?
Do you see me?
Does your dick still perform to me?
My body fighting against your friends and you.
I cannot forget what has been done, raise that curse and know what you have done.

I am grown, I am alive, I am not your dream, your nightmare writes the script that rapes you of your past.
It is I, the one that you gang raped for the coins that were dropped in a tin coffee can.
Was it Folgers, or something Crystals?
Good enough or scary to think I will name you,
Out you, dick for dick, weakened by only a little girls steel like stare into your soul.

Robbing you of all you knew or could have to repent and find peace from this horror.
Hear the words, know the tone, for it is the devil's home from which I speak.
Fear inhabit the ones that violated my body and know that my name is of no consequence.

She is dead! fuck her again, she is warm.
The crowd grows to know the feeling of fucking the dead.
Thump, Thump, pump, pump, pump.
Hello, I am back!

Scream and ask God not,
I shot him dead while I was out for this horrid life he delivered to me

Hail only to the ones that surround you in this room,
may they know this ground.

Don't run, don't go, stay, yes,
climb on top, pull your pants down with one hand,
fight, never, look at my deep blue eyes, they blink.

Alive, fuck you, you will drop dead before I can spit,
say hello to no one that you know,
send my best to the court of the low,

Hello, NEXT!!!

You have done the things that make a grown man come to himself to only know that you are sons of such.  Falling to their knees, praying for what is no more, God, and no End to the horror of the sight of a little girl covered in cum. No Way Out!! Truth spouts...........but Dad, but Da.............just the run on of meaningless words to the sight of such a  girl caked in boys cum.

 I'll go to where they do not play, I will work through what I see, understand.........?What are you, you are neither dead, nor alive, you are the ones they speak of that come to take you to burn in the place that we will never live. I love you, take me now.

I left for the moment and now I have returned to testify to the account of my gang rape from the neighborhood boys, so, that two could have ice cream money.  Saying, "Dad did it, why can't we." "We'll charge like Mom should do."

May the pain be yours tonight.
I raise nothing more than the right to judge you for your crime against my body.
I say to you, remember me and know,
I hate because I cannot love.

This is the girl that stared you down,
in the basement of 815 Balboa Street,
San Francisco, California

Limp dick,

Sexual Conduct and the lack thereof

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