Wednesday, October 25, 2017

Just An Accurate Reminder To The Days Of My Affirm: The Task To Attention To Act!!

Today is Wednesday, October 25, 2017
ACER Laptop~Private server
Original write September 2015

1.)  People are bored!!
2.)  Not wrong to (just) watch
     a) now carrying the virus

Questions to ask now
What developed 1970s scare
     1.) Looking past 'The Act' what caused 'The Action'
     2.) Religious Abuse!!
The Common Ground
     1.) Death of Standard Principle
     2.) Enjoy the gasp
     3.) Message 'Not to control it'
     4.) But to remove it!!

Page 2

* Are people enjoying the fear to task?
* Is the fear found in the task, the act, the sight, the scene, the gossip, the video, the share??
     a) Does the one providing the film saying to themselves
          1.) they did that ..........
                a) The act?
                b) The attention?
                c) The task?

Is 'The Control' as in a virus carried and is infection measure?
     a) A shift?
             1.) do people strip gears?
                   a) i.e.; Thought to now cause 2nd gasp?
Trending ➜➜➜ 1) delivers control again and remove controls at seed/said?
     b) Pictures, Video, Words
              1.) screen, cellphone, Media, Movies ➜➜ Commercials
     c) With the Internet
              1.) abrupt entry to Store^Read
                     a) Now look/One look St.

A tidbit from internet education for the 1970s in the U.S.A. for NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC for KIDs
⟿The History Channel,

Original write 5/29/2009

Disclaimer; I have no formal education. I was removed from school never graduating. I write to relieve the pressure/pain of "thought" off my mind, I am streaming my consciousness.  This is a comfortable way to get the things that are on it off it.

This may better explain;

Nothing Said

The rolling tape in my brain dead head,
shows pictures of all, they just aren't dead,
in spirit or mind or soulful dread,
pictures showing with nothing said.

I began writing a few things down on paper in 1999.  It was not until 2009 I wrote all of this poetry.  I am not a poet by any means, it is just how all the pain chose to come out of me at the time.  I never read what I write, it scares me. I do however try to date it so I will eventually be able to develop a time-line for myself.  Stupid I guess but it is true.  I finally found the password to the blog I began in 2008. All that you have read so far is mostly the stuff I wrote down on paper in the interim.  I have a need to go public so I am in the process of catching up with what I have already expressed. 

Here goes:
     I have had a heavy heart most of my life.  I am here to right the wrongs.  I do not know if this is something I was born with or if it came to fruition after I had been raped at the age of Two and Three and so on.
     I remember thinking, "I do not have to remember everything they are saying, I must keep my eyes open and remember everything they are doing".
     This actually was a complicated task, as whenever they made my bottles, they would put these drops in before anything else. From what I thought was a small glass tincture jar (this is all looking back with what I have now, a more adult and educated view to express what I am seeing inside of my mind).  I remember them saying, "one, two, three? do you think that's going to be enough this time?" "No, do more, at least nine or ten. We don't want her to talk".
     I hated closing my eyes, you never knew what would happen.  I used to see lots of colors, like dreaming in Tye-dye or being inside of a kaleidoscope.  It used to make me feel sick inside.  All the banging and the pounding.  It seemed to come from both inside and outside all at once.
     Its weird when you look back and realize that you were really hurt.  Bleeding everywhere and always sore.  I never knew what to do, they, my family, would always say, "You dirty girl, you make us behave like this! Stop! spreading your legs".  This was kind of difficult since I used to be put into a metal brace. I was severely pigeon-toed.  I used to scream, then they just goo'ed this stuff all over me and left.  This was always done in my bed at night.
     The past year of 2008 my eldest brother said this, "you know you were molested?", "you know they used to put shit in your bottle".  I answered by looking straight at him, "I have never forgotten".  He was silent.  Thanking goodness for small favors he spoke no more on the subject.
     Its strange how years after the fact he said this to me.  Almost as if it was a news flash.  Good thing I never forgot personally because what he said out of the blue may have been to much of a shock for me to take.  It could have sent me into a mind-set that I may have never recovered from. It kind of did anyway. It is after this incident that I really started to write anything down.  He seemed purposeful in his attack.  I am exact in mine.
     I have written this book of poetic verse, it seems to be the only way that the horrors will come out of me.  The flow of this novel will be tough for you to read. However I have found it to be a graceful release of my mind, from the nightmares and horrors I survived as a child.
     I do not want pity. I do not want you to feel ill about any of it.  I just want to exist somewhere, someplace where I am not told "get over it", "shut-up", "everyone has a bad life".  I do not want to be an ugly stain, a throttled voice or a beaten soul.  I want to heal, if at all possible, I want closure for my life of such horrors and traumas.
     I have been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. A team of good-hearted souls has surrounded me, supporting me in this endeavor.  You may find that this book sucks your mind into a place of disbelief.  It's meant to do just that.  I want you to know my life has been surreal.  Sadly the events really took place.
     I hope that every poem speaks to you.  I hope that through my writings I am able to show you healing through perseverance not fear.  I hope for you to know that I believe you.  Bad things do happen.  Survivors do exist today, they only continue to do what they do best, survive.
     This is to all the ones that nobody believed. Here is to your own personal healing. Here is to all the tomorrows that we have not experienced. Here is to the heart of all the ones that did not make it through. I know you!  I hear your cries!  I know your pain!  I feel your sorrow. I feel your spirit. I see your Faith that continues to believe that somebody will survive and tell the story in such a way that we can all heal together dead or alive.  Healing from only one verse.
     To the magic of the blessed lives lost. To the magic of the blessed lives saved. To the magic of the simple verse.  To the magic of true words.  To the magic of nothing lost, only gained.  To the magic of all of you.  To the magic of a mysterious life, Mine!  Thank you for believing.  Thank you for being there.  From me to each of you, thank you!

P.S. Just a note.
It is not that the poems make sense to you in the beginning. It is what they say to you and how you use what they have said in your own life.  You may find these ramblings say nothing.  You may relate in such a way it becomes paralyzing.  I wrote this for my mind.  I want to have this get off of my heart.  So this may go everywhere, it may go nowhere, but, at least it went somewhere for me.  Now I know that no matter how much pain I exist in daily, I am not a dirty girl.  I was born, I survived and I want to learn to live free and happily.  I want to learn love. In the end, I would like to learn how to be me or be myself around all of you naturally, without the embarrassment of myself daily.


How Far 'The Banger & Mash'

I hammer the fools that providence on the 1960s in the City of,
any tribe to calant would cry to the tiers of the absent,
stoop to stupor the drop the acid and drank the blue,
than you are the file to this case!!

Might the awl a burr cold your grave to taste this language of more than cur,
mutt it to the verb and grab a sleeve that you blow,
deep in the tongue of this night on the tomorrow on another,
well keep.

Pillow on the Vice in a Bridle of for Got?,
in street the police were herded,
round the corners and you wake to the Nation and it's louds today,
speak a country and milk a cow whilst the goat is a trail of down predicate,
David Muir shame on you.

Balk at the chore of the Echo of a Catholic as you prey to Scatter the Films,

Nude in Counter to those hands of Sweaters,
hand bilk.

Ships and Keels,
makings of but's and oars as the row is the boats that you have peeled out a pawn?,
nigh the hours of minute time tee,
vista to the blink of Friday to what on that Midnight skate,
is the east as the drug to the rake,
does television ankle your desk to a booking of what is Craigslist,
sure is the dial to that soap of the eh!!

Steep are the Angles of that Isosceles,
dig figures.

Match your Burrow at the obvious of Garden,
in with inch to out with a touching as the forehead wrinkles,
the knows!!

Heave hard that cock as the rooster on the Hen House of National news??,
beak to feather a Tar of Jack.

Oil is the Wick of Singer Sew,
threads as the silk of role's in with the measure out with the Rule?,
join a Velshi and the Dam is as the Family had a pill,
speak in the abortion to pregnant the voice,
vocals without the wringer,
then as the sole lure grasps the microphone boom goes the graphics,
bleeding 'till the brand is of ironing plaid,
skeet a gain as next in the line is what a beatnik,
get bar!!

Michael McClure

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Michael McClure
GloriaGrahamMichael McMclure2004.jpg
Photograph by Gloria Graham during the video taping of "Add-Verse", 2004
BornOctober 20, 1932 (age 84)
OccupationPoetsongwriterCriticPlaywright, and Professor
Michael McClure (born October 20, 1932) is an American poetplaywrightsongwriter, and novelist. After moving to San Francisco as a young man, he found fame as one of the five poets (including Allen Ginsberg) who read at the famous San Francisco Six Gallery reading in 1955 rendered in barely fictionalized terms in Jack Kerouac's The Dharma Bums. He soon became a key member of the Beat Generation and is immortalized as "Pat McLear" in Kerouac's Big Sur.


Educated at the University of Wichita (later Wichita State University), the University of Arizona, and San Francisco State College,[1] McClure's first book of poetry, Passage, was published in 1956 by small press publisher Jonathan Williams.[2]His poetry is heavily infused with an awareness of nature, especially in the animal consciousness that often lies dormant in mankind. Not only an awareness of nature, but the poems are organized in an organic fashion, continuing with his appreciation of nature's purity. Stan Brakhage, friend of McClure, stated in Chicago Reviewthat:
"McClure always, and more and more as he grows older, gives his reader access to the verbal impulses of his whole body's thought (as distinct from simply and only brain-think, as it is with most who write). He invents a form for the cellular messages of his, a form which will feel as if it were organic on the page; and he sticks with it across his life..."[3]
McClure has since published eight books of plays and four collections of essays, including essays on Bob Dylan and the environment. His fourteen books of poetry include Jaguar SkiesDark BrownHuge DreamsRebel LionsRain Mirror and Plum Stones. McClure famously read selections of his Ghost Tantra poetry series to the caged lions in the San Francisco Zoo. His work as a novelist includes the autobiographical The Mad Cub and The Adept.
On January 14, 1967, McClure read at the epochal Human Be-In event in Golden Gate Park in San Francisco and transcended his Beat label to become an important member of the 1960s Hippie countercultureBarry Miles famously referred to McClure as "the Prince of the San Francisco Scene".[4]
McClure would later court controversy as a playwright with his play The Beard. The play tells of a fictional encounter in the blue velvet of eternity between Billy the Kidand Jean Harlow and is a theatrical exploration of his "Meat Politics" theory, in which all human beings are "bags of meat".
Other plays include Josephine The Mouse Singer and VKTMS. He had an eleven-year run as playwright-in-residence with San Francisco's Magic Theatre where his operetta "Minnie Mouse and the Tap-Dancing Buddha" had an extended run. He has made two television documentaries – The Maze and September Blackberries – and is featured in several films including The Last Waltz (dir. Martin Scorsese) where he reads from The Canterbury TalesBeyond the Law (dir. Norman Mailer); and, most prominently, The Hired Hand (dir. Peter Fonda).
McClure was a close friend of The Doors lead singer Jim Morrison and is generally acknowledged as having been responsible for promoting Morrison as a poet. McClure performed spoken word poetry concerts with Doors keyboard player Ray Manzarek up until Ray's death and several CDs of their work have been released. McClure is the author of the Afterword in Jerry Hopkins's and Danny Sugerman's seminal Doors biography, No One Here Gets Out Alive. McClure has also released CDs of his work with minimalist composer Terry Riley. McClure’s songs include "Mercedes Benz", popularized by Janis Joplin, and new songs which were performed by Riders on the Storm, a band that consisted of original Doors members Ray Manzarek and Robbie Krieger.
McClure's journalism has been featured in Rolling StoneVanity Fair, the Los Angeles Times and the San Francisco Chronicle. He has received numerous awards, including a Guggenheim Fellowship, an Obie Award for Best Play, an NEA grant, the Alfred Jarry Award and a Rockefeller grant for playwriting. In addition, he was inducted into the San Francisco State University Alumni Hall of Fame in 2014. [5] McClure is still active as a poet, essayist and playwright and lives with his second wife, Amy, in the San Francisco Bay Area. He has one daughter from his first marriage to Joanna McClure.

The Beard[edit]

The Beard is a notably controversial modern play, that explores the nature of seduction and attraction, as it portrays an explosive confrontation between two legendary figures, Jean Harlow, the platinum blonde movie star, and Billy the Kid, the baby-faced outlaw with a hair trigger. They are attracted to each other, but their egos get in the way. She mocks his masculinity, and he tells her she is envious of his beauty. This battle diminishes as they realize that since they are alone together they are free to shuck their burdening facades, and give in to what they’re truly feeling. The torrent of their unleashed passions leads to a final scene of great controversy, as the play comes to a climax with an act of explicit sexual intimacy between the cowboy and the starlet.[6][7]
McLure says that he was inspired to write the play by a vision that came to him of a poster advertising a boxing match between Jean Harlow and Billy the Kid. Before he began to write, he went to the printer that created boxing posters in San Francisco, and had the poster of his vision printed up. Then he says "I put the poster up on fences, windows, and in liquor stores where boxing posters would be, and put one up behind my head in the room I worked in at the time, which overlooked the bridge and the ocean. I could feel the presence of Billy the Kid and Jean Harlow broadcasting from the beautiful poster to the back of my head out towards the ocean. They began enacting the play and I began typing it up. They'd say a few pages, I just typed it. I thought it was a nature poem about mammal sexuality and mammal love. It could have been a tantric ritual."
McLure happened to meet British playwright, Harold Pinter, who then gave words of support to the play, which helped it become noticed and gave courage to those who staged its first production in San Francisco in 1965.[8]
It debuted at the Actor's Workshop Theatre in San Francisco on the December 18, 1965. A second performance followed at Bill Graham's Fillmore Auditorium on the July 24, 1966. With the Fillmore's high profile, the play attracted an audience of 700. After success at the Fillmore, the following month the play opened at The Committee, a theatre nightclub in the North Beach area of the city, where it was hoped it would enjoy a lengthy run.
Now aware of the play's controversial elements, the San Francisco Police Department secretly tape-recorded the first two performances and secretly filmed the third performance. Having failed in their attempts to successfully censor Allen Ginsberg's Howl, the performances of Lenny Bruce and the San Francisco Mime Troupe, the police department was intent to succeed this time.
At the end of that third performance on August 8, 1966—only the fifth time the play had been performed in public—the San Francisco Police Department raided the venue and arrested actors Billie Dixon (Jean) and Richard Bright (Billy). Under Penal Code Section 647(a) the pair were initially charged with "obscenity", then "conspiracy to commit a felony" and ultimately with "lewd or dissolute conduct in a public place".
The American Civil Liberties Union took the case and represented the actors. Twelve days after the arrests, the play was performed at The Florence Schwimley Little Theatre, in Berkeley. The audience included more than a hundred ACLU-invited expert witnesses, including political activists, academics, writers and even members of the clergy. Seven members of the Berkeley Police Department and the District Attorney's office were also present. Five days later, the city of Berkeley brought its own charges of "lewd or dissolute conduct" against the play. It became a theatrical cause célèbre, until finally, after months of legal deliberation, Judge Joseph Karesh of the San Francisco Superior Court ruled that while the play did contain material of a troublesome nature, it was not appropriate to prosecute such work under the law. All the charges were dropped and the subsequent appeal lost.
Unable to perform in the San Francisco area, the play moved to Los Angeles, where the play's attempt at a run was disrupted by the arrest of both Dixon and Bright at curtain down of fourteen consecutive performances. McClure recalls, "The actor and the actress actually got two standing ovations, one at the end of the play and the second when the police hauled them out of the door and into the waiting wagon and took them off to book them."[citation needed]
The Beard eventually transferred to New York where in the 1967–1968 Obie Theatre Awards, it won Best Director and Best Actress. It has since played successfully all over the world and is a favorite with American university drama groups. It is interesting to note that the play has enjoyed particular success in London, having been produced there twice. In 1968, actor Rip Torn directed a notable production at The Royal Court Theatre and it has most recently been revived at a smaller venue, the Old Red Lion Theatre in 2006 under the direction of Nic Saunders with new music by Terry Riley. The play is currently out of print in both the US and UK. Saunders would collaborate with McClure a second time in 2008 on the award-winning short film Curses and Sermons, which would mark the first time McClure had authorized a filmed adaptation of one of his poems.

California College of Arts and Crafts[edit]

Michael McClure was a popular, celebrated professor of English at the California College of Arts and Crafts (now renamed California College of the Arts), in Oakland, California, for many years.


  • Passage (1956)
  • For Artaud (1959)
  • Hymns to St. Geryon and Other Poems (1959)
  • The New Book/A Book of Torture (1961)
  • Dark Brown (1961)
  • Meat Science Essays (1963)
  • The Blossom; or Billy the Kid (1964)
  • Ghost Tantras (1964)
  • The Beard (1965)
  • Poisoned Wheat (1965)
  • Unto Caesar (1965)
  • Love Lion Book (1966)
  • Freewheelin Frank (with Frank Reynolds) (1967)
  • The Sermons of Jean Harlow and the Curses of Billy the Kid (1968)
  • Hail Thee Who Play (1968)
  • Muscled Apple Swift (1968)
  • Little Odes and The Raptors (1969)
  • The Surge (1969)
  • Star (1970)
  • The Mad Cub (1970)
  • The Adept (1971)
  • Gargoyle Cartoons (1971)
  • The Mammals – includes The Feast, The Blossom; or, Billy the Kid, and Pillow (1972)
  • The Book of Joanna (1973)
  • Solstice Blossom (1973)
  • The Grabbing of the Fairy (1973)
  • Rare Angel (1974)
  • A Fist-Full (1956–57) (1974)
  • Gorf (1974)
  • September Blackberries (1974)
  • Jaguar Skies (1975)
  • Antechamber & Other Poems (1978)
  • Josephine: The Mouse Singer (1980)
  • Fragments of Perseus (1983)
  • Specks (1985)
  • Rebel Lions (1991)
  • Lighting the Corners (1994)
  • Scratching the Beat Surface (1994)
  • Three Poems - includes Dark Brown, Rare Angel, Dolphin Skull (1995)
  • Huge Dreams (1999)
  • Touching the Edge (1999)
  • The Last American Valentine: Illustrated poems to seduce and destroy – Write Bloody Publishing anthology (2008)
  • Mysteriosos and Other Poems (2010)
  • Of Indigo and Safron: New and Selected Poems (2011)
  • Mephistos and Other Poems (City Lights), (2016) ISBN 9780872867284

Selected filmography[edit]

  • Two (1965) – as himself
  • Be In (1967) – as himself
  • Beyond The Law (1968) – as actor
  • The Hired Hand (1971) – as actor
  • The Last Waltz (1978) – as himself
  • The Source (1999) – as himself
  • Love Her Madly (2002) – as himself
  • The Third Mind (2006) – as himself
  • Curses and Sermons (2008) – based on his work