Monday, November 12, 2012

The Temple of Set

The pain within my being is what shall free me from this World.
You deny that which is only a bastard Soul,
sold to the Mother for Immortality of Old.

Do as you please and know that I am empty of your pleasure.
You have produced idiocy as your measure,
in this I enjoy only the fact that your denial increases my ability to know.

As you rob me of my children,
you take away what is not yours to secure.
Know that with my Father as Satan Himself,
you shall procure your own end,
for in this thought you shall be without doubt,

'We' All Die Eventually!!

 The purchase of my Soul,
sealed its Fate upon the Skin of a Human Being.
my eldest sister held my Heart because of this action,
a formal deed.

Return to me what is deservedly mine,
and I shall find only your preserved words for our Mothers DEATH wish. 

My eldest sister wishes for our mother to be melted from within,
it is known as spontaneous combustion and looked upon as a sin of what has been.

My eldest sister wishes for our mother a death I cannot, will not, be a part of,
in thought, in action or in sought.

My eldest sister is an abomination to me.

For you wish our Mother to be cursed and yet,
you know nothing of her Countenance.

And for that simple error,
I out your Terror upon her life.

What happened to me,
did not happen to you,
and you are nothing more than the accident that created this chore.

A Shotgun Wedding at best.

My Haunts do not serve your Port,
they torture MINE.

You are reprehensible,
and behind the facts of what is the Truth,
you are Uncouth!

In The Stillness of Ones Mind, You Will Find A Peaceful Resign

Seemingly, the Battle of your Life is found,
when you find that you MUST survive your Circumstances!
Regardless of your age when this War begins,
it is yours to wage.

Eventually, if you are lucky,
you may begin to gain insight into the unfair advantage of your birth.

Your Parental Figures are given a Thirty-Year jump.
Your siblings have a birth-right that predates you,
giving them insight that you would, or could, never obtain,
they speak of the Ill's they may have been subjected to also.

Once you begin to level this playing field which we have been delivered upon,
you may find that you are no longer interested in wanting to engage with the idiots
you know, the ones that had had such an unfair advantage in your life. 

Almost as if,
if they have not spoken up by now,
who is really interested in their opinion anymore?
Obviously they were in agreement with the abuse or as the abused,
they too would have fought back,
just for sake.

With some kind of regularity or assumption on the part of these abusive people,
albeit, they are all still older than you,
they just can't keep themselves from this one thing.
Showing the pride that they have in getting away with their abuse in your life.

Almost as if these Family Members believe that there will never be a day
that you could stand independently of them and with a bold voice,
tell of the horrors perpetrated upon your life since birth by them, 
your own Flesh and Blood, supposedly.

It seems that there is a fleeting belief that Society will take pity,
now that they are in there Golden Years, 
how could you convict them of any Crime,
let alone crimes that I was told in my youth by my Step-Father,

"The Statute of Limitations will have run out by the time you get the balls to speak."

Therefore, as he put it,

"We will never suffer the punishment for our misdeeds to you or anyone else."

I guess that in a rather sick and perverted manner,
he was correct,
but really, the reality is much more perverse.
I survived what had happened,
I Continue!!

 those that fostered this abuse must live with the condemnation and thereupon the judgments,
 of their actions in Eternity.

A Statute with no Limit to Time Itself.

I saw this in a dream.....I was in the Halls of ....

The gates of Valhalla have broken the locks of time before time was....

I would like to know the Compassion not yet known.  The Visions of the Past that lead us into an understanding of the future, not a confusion of timeless measure.  The bounds of our loss cannot be calculated by our minds. It just seems to be forcing an equation for the void between life and death so that it can not be understood, just feared.

The gift from the creator of such beautiful minds, said to be in favor with his own, should only compliment his prayer for glory in the journey between the conscience and unconscious.  Instead it seems blurred by the doubt in your mind and you are blinded by the delusion or the story of only a golden mansion in the sky to be had upon your entry to the Deathly Realms. All while your soul or spiritual self does nothing to repent for your existence in this world or prepare for your entry into a different one.

To look into the Hour Glass of Time, realizing that the probability of a space before Time, was merely the place when Souls were divided and Twin Flames created to experience this journey independently and yet with only one hope to bring solace to such a decision.  The Twin Souls would join to ascend as one in the end so they may be in The Continue and not subject to your End of Times scenario.  This thought would have only been carried through to ensure our survival if the visual of such impending disaster had been  concreted with the evidence that seems to be in existence today.  Albeit a Seer or a Sage would have had to have spoken and thereupon been believed readily.  For the dilemma would have been forthcoming and judging by the lack of belief in difference or the thought that "A progressive thought is an atheist thought today," the decision would have had to have been made quickly, without Fear and with the Conviction that it was the correct thing to do.

We are not by chance, nor are we beings that are not capable of what may end up being something incredible.  What we know here as life, is an opportunity to see the ones that provide you with choice and accept duty to a higher purpose so that you may experience further growth in any life that you may be fortunate enough to have experienced or to know that you may experience. This is an opportunity to be free of such narrow thinking on man’s part that only encourages disbelief and fear of the unknown.

To take pause in this life, to imagine a divide, an inclusion, a movement of grace and beauty on behalf of the appreciation of the creator of mankind, be it evolution, god, big bangs or any other countless reasons that flow into our libraries to explain the beginning of our existence should be our interest, not cause divisions in our thinking.  To halt your thoughts and engage your source of hidden reveal for your own person is what I ask you to require as engagement in this matter of your minds.  This world has filled the end times with prejudice of presumption to know and announce not only dates but the very means of the disciplines of the destruction that shall reign upon us.  How can such simple minds presume to know what graces us with the visions of an end?  A known to a secret reveal would be an answer to the question of the Keep, and not whom the Keep belongs.  The Keeper of such Ancient and Timeless minds would only increase a desire to acquire the Keep for the wealth of Souls and the Spirituality that that might deliver if sought out.  The beauty  in the continuance towards the transcendence of life itself should be a moment with Spiritual understanding, not Fear and Strife.

To have so much, to know so little, and to propagate so much negativity and doubt about life itself, is in truth, shameful for all of humanity.

James Blunt, my Darkest Lord, you have stolen me from the start; I swoon to Knight!

 I wrote this last year, but I feel like I should post it again today.
 I need a bit of levity and he provides me with that.   I hope you enjoy reading what I so enjoyed writing.


I growl to know the taste,
although, I halt to "No" the vow,
a show, a sin, I swoon for the zoom of lightning strikes to know!
From the depths of where I cannot stand,
I fall to see you are know Man.
I'm damned. Betwixt I am.

My being has been touched,
in imaginative thought,
 I rut, I furrow for a sexual plural.
I am struck by a sense of morality or is it mortality?

Each time I think on this Man,
a man that sings in the verse of a picture,
I hear and whoa! I halt myself to "No."

"Stop!", I say, I do cry,
not in tears, in loudness of, "Oh My!".
He complicates me with deviousness and sensuality,
I sigh to know from far below.
Feel between... the lie,
to know the desire comes from deep inside.

Moving in on such a sin,
I say, "Knot Too."
For in this simple, I complicate you, true?

Seduction demands a Man to press upon,
to work towards a Heavenly Degree,
but it is the Devil in me which grounds the Man I see!!

To be more thought and never bought,
to see a design towards what is hot,
you will be burnt into my mind,
the state you are, the very same kind.

I shall be the One of few who says to you,
"Yes Sir, No Sir, Three bags full Sir."
Surreal is the deal,
 you strike when you wheel,
 the mind of another and it is not hard, it's real.

I mine so deep,
it hardens, from thought to desire, I leap.
Not for me 'cause,
I trade up for simple sexual desire.

In a place that is not welcoming,
you must come to know release.
From Me? Know.
So, sweetly do I say,
"Oh Lord, dear Man, I watched your show, your band."

And in the end, Mr. James Blunt you are,
with such excitement, un-repressed and un-scarred,
on stage or in a car,
it is the Denims, it is the boots, the t-shirts are mean,
but you are the loot and you do declare,
"I'll be your Man!"

In excellence, I accept,
in greed of what I am lusting after.
I congratulate myself in sin and press towards you,
what you do, to declare War on Sensuality too!

As you stand, My Piano Man.
Arms outstretched is your plan,
acceptance of, is my command.

At the end of what you've done,
I will not wake, nor will I run!
I ride the Wave of what you've made,
my mind is complimenting in equal time
of what is so fine.

You on Stage.

I dream in reality and live in liberty,
to excite myself without delight,
but to achieve such heights,
I do; Just by what I like.

You dear Sir,
would be so tight,
I just might,
but prowess in such a Knight.
Mistakes the days for points of view,
instead of times to look for you.
I drink it in and gladly sin,
to know that to the avail of myself I am true.
Happily for you.

Raise the board,
for wanting more,
will come from "My Lord."
Deep from far, far from Me,
I fall back, I swoon for thee.
Reality catches myself in tune,
to finish what never starts,
with Concerts in the Park
that you delivered from the heart.

Appeasing, don't you think,
My dear Bluntie,
please blink.

 Never forget to be
who you are or what you chose,
for you will always have me.
Set Zero,
I never lose.


Dear Mom,

In the beginning, or should I say, when I was younger than today, I believed that you would not test Fate.  I believed the Heavens above would remind you of your Creator and somehow this would warm your Heart.  Who or what you believe to be your Creator is not for me to judge, it is personal and should be kept with you, as your belief, be discreet not assuming.

I wanted to believe that you were capable of choosing left from right.  I wanted to believe that all roads would lead to Spiritual knowledge.  I understand now that I was wrong.  All Roads do have destination points, but you must chose those destinations yourself and you must do this standing independent of what other people may think or ram down your throat.  Each of us are capable of truly understanding the Freedom of Choice and thereupon able to accept every action will have an equal and more than likely an opposite reaction.

I wondered as I was growing-up, and as I watched you go about living your life how you could be so indifferent to the Welfare of other Human Beings.  I would watch, I would listen and as a result, I did learn that the differences between you and I were as much the same as they were also vastly different.  I did not believe in destroying or taking Human Life for granted, as I know from personal experience that you do.  The first and only lesson I recall you ever showed to me.  I could not understand how you could be so Blind and so Deaf towards Human Beings in so much need.  These Men and Women surrounded you each and everyday and it seemed that they were as receptive to the abuse as you were to deliver it to them.  Than I began to realize something, it was not your lack of Sight into this tragedy or the fact that you were unable to Hear or Listen to the fact that they were knowingly allowing this strange abuse.  I realized that you put on these Glasses to be able to see through the needs of all of these people, regardless of if those needs had good or bad intentions, you, just like them, just did what you wanted to do because you can.

I accept you as you are but you may find that the problem lies in this simple thought, "I don't believe, that you have ever accepted yourself that way."  You may find peace of mind should you try accepting yourself, as yourself and then maybe you could find forgiveness for yourself.

Dr. Vuksinick told me last year that you had written the Script for my Life.  I laughed, he smiled, and, I said, "I know, but thanks for telling me, it means so much that somebody like you knows that too." I went on to say, "I believe that it has finally run out of pages, I seem to not have anymore lines to read."  He gave me that loving look of acceptance and gave me a big hug.

Thank you, Mom, for taking me to see this incredible Psychiatrist at Three Years Old.  I was so lucky to have been understood by such a wonderful Man so early in my Life, it set the tone for who I truly have become and always will be. I was even more fortunate as an adult, when for reasons of your own, you walked me back into his office. I don't know why you did this to me, I have to say that it was for the sake of cruelty itself, but thank you because it had that opposite affect I spoke of earlier. The fact he recognized me and knew me so personally, gave such credence to my life, but in truth it was his words that were filled with such wisdom that gave me the desire to continue the Fight for that same Life.  As he put it more eloquently than I, "You are worth it, fight for it."  So much more ended-up being shared between us, however I wish to keep it just between he and I, it makes me feel so good that we were able to speak again and he made me feel something I had not felt in years, loved.

This letter that I write to you, Mother, is in Respect and in the Honor of Dr. Vuksinick and what he did for my Life, however through giving me the most amazing gift of strength in-spite of such horrid circumstances, I am able to make this appeal for your life, in hopes you will be able to forgive yourself for what you have done to so many people without thought or consideration for anyone but yourself.

Vuksinick died last month and I miss him.

Death Notice

Louis M. Vuksinick
A gifted and beloved psychiatrist and Jungian analyst, Louis Martin Vuksinick, M.D. (Lou) died nobly as he had lived, on Wednesday, October 17, 2012 at home after challenging leukemia and neck cancer for four years. During this time he continued to practice in San Francisco and in Palo Alto where he lived. He is survived by his wife of 30 years, Janet Robinson, the love of his life; four stepchildren; Gregory, Timothy, Anne and Jeffrey Petersen and their partners and seven grandsons; and his sister Maxine Russell of Salt lake City. Born in Spring Glen, Utah, February 27,1934 to Louis L. Vuksinick and Zelpha Skriner, he attended medical school at the University of Utah. Coming to San Francisco in 1959 for his internship at St. Mary's Hospital, he went on to complete his psychiatric residency at Stanford University Medical School 1960-63 and Analytic Training at the C. G. Jung Institute of San Francisco 1974-88. He held leadership and teaching roles in the Department of Psychiatry, McAuley Neurospsychiatric Institute, St. Mary's Hospital 1969-1980. He is noted for his work about the body-psyche connection, and his love of music, especially opera. He will be greatly missed. A Memorial Mass will be held in San Francisco at St. Ignatius Church, 650 Parker Av, Saturday, Nov. 3 at 10 AM. Memorial contributions may be made to the C. G. Jung Institute of San Francisco in his honor.