Sunday, May 20, 2012
Disconnect with what is unnatural.
Stay in the sight of that which will guide you to health,
not destroy, condemn, withhold what is natural, cause pain to you,
all for their own personal gain, just to watch your agony in first person.
Remain in the isolation.
This is what I was meant to have been left in when I was so young.
Uncertainty will not be mine,
I will remain with what kept me safe: Always.
The other-side did not abandon me,
nor harm me with that which is unknown to me.
However, what is not known to me,
will kill your spirit to try should you see it.
I saw that in their eyes, that was clarity of another kind of reality,
not of this World, but, of the next.
The difference in between these two places of existence was undeniable.
Sanity is found in the reality that does not bite,
but, relates to peaceful desires.
I cannot miss that which I never knew
and I do not know anyone from this Earthly plain.
Forward, Onward, Solidarity of One!
I stretched it out over many years to learn how to be what I was told was natural.
At Forty Years Old it became time for Mother Nature
to put back together that which had been torn asunder by Man himself.
To find after so many years of silence
that the excuses are the same and that the embarrassment for others is so great
they not only keep me at bay, but, cut me off entirely out of their lives
all at the earliest possible convenience that makes them look admirable, not guilty.
Thus, their thinking is that no guilt will befall upon their Life.
Forever and A Day!
The words of those that do not know how long eternity can last.
These ignorant beings that have found my life to much to bare,
turn in shame from me.
They have said that they will never see,
nor speak to me again in my life or theirs.
I cannot retreat into what most might be tempted to; A shell.
I must only accept that this is a guise,
used for those that still breath with uninterrupted life
on this beautiful planet.
As for myself,
I went all the way through to the other side,
to experience what happens when death approaches,
this leaves you with a personal affect upon your Mind.
At this time in my life, being today, in the present so to speak,
I don't want there to be any misunderstanding
with any of you that judge
that which you cannot even comprehend but did.
I realize it was what I had done when I was young that was a missed-take.
Younger than the age of Four Years Old when first taken out by that "Snuff",
I now know that what I did by....
leaping back into my listless body:
Now, that was an unnatural thing to do.
To have stayed where I was,
which is what I did not do,
would have been the natural thing to have done..... then.
So, the final question for me to all of You is "why" bother to dissociate,
when in the end it is You that cannot associate at all with anyone like me.
Trauma is real and so am I.
To be without an audible way to express disgust and dismay,
puts clamps upon the Minds of Babes.
This is why we push you away.
Where does one find those words?
You know the ones that sound perverse?
When all we are is speaking truths of what you did to us at Two.
I split off when you did it to Me; A Snuff was my demise.
I jumped clean out of myself.
Terrified, afraid and very confused!
I screamed and yelled back at YOU!!
the one who committed the act, the snuff.
You were gone, just like that,
in less the minus time could or would count off such a crime
of driven hatred towards a child.
No one came, I stood alone, until I saw him.
Staring at one another, time lapsed.
He held himself poised and without threat.
I gazed upon my lifeless body.
Why was I dead on the floor?
A minute before it was the Basement of our Home.
Now, it seemed a cement grave for eternity
and yet, He, said, "No, only for ...."
What happened in those seconds in between?
He knew my turmoil, the one in the picture at the top of this post.
His face speaks volumes.
He shows the years of the silence I have kept.
It is the agony of such a tragedy that keeps me here.
It is love to Me!
I was shown that no matter the incident that pulls us together,
it is the solution that produces the offspring and gives you the ability to see your value.
For all the grandeur of surviving such a horror will follow in Time.
And watched I am.
Carefully, warmly and with kindness,
from whom cared for this girl when all other beings abandoned my very small life,
for their own.
Safety comes when it is known to be "He."