Tuesday, May 22, 2012

To Really Be, Is To Sacrafice It All. For There Are No Guarantees in Life. But, In Death There Are Certainties'

Look into the Eyes of what you say is not there,
you will blind yourself with the light of innocent repair.
Etched upon your Soul,
will bare witness to your presumption of thought to have done so.

No One person, nobody ever stops, warns or simply says,
"Go blind you will; Don't look there."

Anything said in spoken Verse would help,
I am sure.

Belief in that Childhood Dream!!
There was one other I put before myself;
That Boy: I am sure a Man by now.

Thinking that each of us would make an equal whole;
I pushed on.

I comforted my then Soul.
For in the grand World of ours,
such innocence did roam!

So selective, so directed, so hopeful I was.
For what I knew was the destiny for Two.

A youthful dream should never be torn from a child.
Such incredible thoughts are life coming through
so adults know the Universe is true.

Men and Women are not bought,
or, are they?

A Bus, a Municipality may schedule to maintain a stop every 20 Minutes,
for timely sake, not for the gander of another sexual hit.

Love; Well, that is meant to be a once in a Lifetime Experience.
So, I thought, "A boy and a girl," you know how the song goes.
And yet it seems all we do is slave.

I know that we must work to know.
Faith to believe and be able to dream of "He."
It is important to be true to ourselves,
be true to memories not yet made.

Yet, be pliable, understanding, patient and empathic enough within our beings
to feel the freedom of peaceful residence when it delivers us the news to wait.

Not manipulate the situation so that it is pushed our way on our time schedule,
 as it seems the female gender loves to do.

Rather, cooperate when the outcomes are different,
varied from that which we may have imagined at one time.
Maybe excitement will be delivered by our Knight,
not the nightmare you expect will happen.

Mother Nature shows us or even in a kinder fashion,
examples for each of us a path to this kind of living each and everyday.

She pours her Wealth upon this land,
with simplicity and exactness, she is so very grand.
Erupting as we do, she does it at will,
just so we can fill our Till.

Giving to Man something so that we may continue to build.

Our lives are interrupted, we experience great personal loss.
However, our Minds, our Intellectual thoughts blossom
when we begin to ponder on how to warn ourselves.

For with certainty,
we do know of her impending thoughts for furthering her growth,
her magnitude, her grandeur.

Yet! In anger, or rage, we point at Her.
We blame Her for our loss.

The suffering for Human Beings is felt across the board.
How could it not be?

However, who cries and holds Mother Natures woes.
For Father Nature seems to not be Home.

Sunday, May 20, 2012

I Missed My Ride...With Death That Is!!

Disconnect with what is unnatural.
Stay in the sight of that which will guide you to health,
not destroy, condemn, withhold what is natural, cause pain to you,
all for their own personal gain, just to watch your agony in first person.

Remain in the isolation.
 This is what I was meant to have been left in when I was so young.
Uncertainty will not be mine,
I will remain with what kept me safe: Always.

The other-side did not abandon me,
 nor harm me with that which is unknown to me.
However, what is not known to me,
 will kill your spirit to try should you see it.
I saw that in their eyes, that was clarity of another kind of reality,
not of this World, but, of the next.

The difference in between these two places of existence was undeniable.

Sanity is found in the reality that does not bite,
but, relates to peaceful desires.
I cannot miss that which I never knew
and I do not know anyone from this Earthly plain.

Forward, Onward, Solidarity of One!
I stretched it out over many years to learn how to be what I was told was natural.
At Forty Years Old it became time for Mother Nature
 to put back together that which had been torn asunder by Man himself.

To find after so many years of silence
that the excuses are the same and that the embarrassment for others is so great
they not only keep me at bay, but, cut me off entirely out of their lives
all at the earliest possible convenience that makes them look admirable, not guilty.
Thus, their thinking is that no guilt will befall upon their Life.

Forever and A Day!

The words of those that do not know how long eternity can last.
These ignorant beings that have found my life to much to bare,
 turn in shame from me.
They have said that they will never see,
 nor speak to me again in my life or theirs.

I cannot retreat into what most might be tempted to; A shell.
I must only accept that this is a guise,
 used for those that still breath with uninterrupted life
 on this beautiful planet.

As for myself,
 I went all the way through to the other side,
 to experience what happens when death approaches,
this leaves you with a personal affect upon your Mind.

 At this time in my life, being today, in the present so to speak,
I don't want there to be any misunderstanding
 with any of you that judge
 that which you cannot even comprehend but did.

I realize it was what I had done when I was young that was a missed-take.

Younger than the age of Four Years Old when first taken out by that "Snuff",
I now know that what I did by....
 leaping back into my listless body:

Now, that was an unnatural thing to do.

To have stayed where I was,
which is what I did not do,
would have been the natural thing to have done..... then. 

So, the final question for me to all of You is "why" bother to dissociate,
when in the end it is You that cannot associate at all with anyone like me.

Trauma is real and so am I.

He Stood As I Did, Tears Streaming Down His Face

To be without an audible way to express disgust and dismay,
puts clamps upon the Minds of Babes.
This is why we push you away.

Where does one find those words?
You know the ones that sound perverse?
When all we are is speaking truths of what you did to us at Two.

I split off when you did it to Me; A Snuff was my demise.
I jumped clean out of myself.
Terrified, afraid and very confused!

I screamed and yelled back at YOU!!

Then you,
the one who committed the act, the snuff.
You were gone, just like that,
 in less the minus time could or would count off such a crime
of driven hatred towards a child.

No one came, I stood alone, until I saw him.
Staring at one another, time lapsed.
He held himself poised and without threat.
I gazed upon my lifeless body.
Why was I dead on the floor?

A minute before it was the Basement of our Home.
Now, it seemed a cement grave for eternity
and yet, He, said, "No, only for ...."

What happened in those seconds in between?
He knew my turmoil, the one in the picture at the top of this post.
His face speaks volumes.
He shows the years of the silence I have kept.

It is the agony of such a tragedy that keeps me here.
It is love to Me!

I was shown that no matter the incident that pulls us together,
it is the solution that produces the offspring and gives you the ability to see your value.
 For all the grandeur of surviving such a horror will follow in Time.

And watched I am.
Carefully, warmly and with kindness,
from whom cared for this girl when all other beings abandoned my very small life,
for their own.

Safety comes when it is known to be "He."

Saturday, May 19, 2012

Do Not Be In Dismay, Just Be!!

Do not fight with that which you are faced with.
Accept that it is their responsibility.

Stand down!
Object to your internal draw to fight in the wrong War.
Allow the battle to be on the field of their guilt, not our innocence.

Forgive not yourself for an unknown crime.

Declare only your despair,
your anger, your disappointment and sadness
to the lack of defense which was never offered.

Stand Proud,
no matter your beginning.
Feel the breeze of what will calm yourself to educate your young.

Do Not Repeat.

Be Free!

Discriminate against what will damage the innocent.

Freedom is found before our birth.
It is the bondage upon this Earth where we learn
 to be that which we have already chosen not to be.
Stick to your guns!!

Be Clear With Yourself.

Stand across from that which you should not forgive.
For it is their jobs to do for themselves, not us!

Be free of condemnation and know
 you are innocent of the guilt of Centuries of such Crimes.


For one day, with a little luck,
we shall be again, maybe meet,
 be able to find the strength to love once more.

Be True

Friday, May 18, 2012

Famous Quotes From A Man That I Once Knew

“It has been said, 'the truth will make men free.' The truth alone has never made anyone free. It is only doubt which will bring mental emancipation.”

“Stupidity—The top of the list for a Sin. One of the Cardinal Sins I am afraid. It’s too bad that stupidity isn't painful. Ignorance is one thing, but our society thrives increasingly on stupidity. It depends on people going along with whatever they are told. The media promotes a cultivated stupidity as a posture that is not only acceptable but laudable. When being or standing as an Independent you must learn to see through the tricks and cannot afford to be stupid.”

“There is a beast in man that needs to be exercised, not exorcised.”

“There are many who would like my time. I shun them. There are some who share my time. I am entertained by them. There are precious few who contribute to my time. I cherish them.”

“Yeah, well, I'm crazy, but I'm not stupid, hopefully. And I think we're all a bit crazy if we do anything that's deviant. I've studied a great deal on deviance and aberrant behavior. Most of the interesting people I've ever met have been deviant in one form or another.”

“To be loved, feelings must be rationed. To love, the doors of hysteria, fantasy, and madness may be flung open.”

“It’s too bad that stupidity isn't painful.”

“Hair on a man's chest is thought to denote strength. The gorilla is the most powerful of bipeds and has hair on every place on his body except for his chest.”

“When one sleeps on the floor one need not worry about falling out of bed.”

“Those who spell Magic with a K aren't.”

“What good are friends if they cant do you any good?”

“What is there to see if I go outside? Don't tell me. I know. I can see other people. I don't want to see other people. They look awful. The men look like slobs and the women look like men. The men have mush faces framed by long hair and the women have big noses, big jaws, big heads, and stick-like bodies. That depresses me. Its no fun to people-watch anymore because there's so little variety in types."

"You say it's good to get a change of scenery. What scenery? New buildings? New cars? New freeways? New shopping malls? Go to the woods or a park? I saw a tree once. The new ones look the same, which is fine. I even remember what the old ones look like. My memory isn't that short. But it's not worth going to see a squirrel grab a nut, or fish swimming around in a big tank if I must put up with the ugly contemporary human pollution that accompanies each excursion. The squirrel may enliven me and remind me of better vistas but the price in social interaction isn't worth it. If, on my way to visit the squirrel, I encounter a single person who gains stimulation by seeing me, I feel like I have given more than I've received and I get sore."

"If every time I go somewhere to see a fish swimming, I become someone else's stimulation, I feel shortchanged. I'll buy my own fish and watch it swim. Then, I can watch the fish, the fish can watch me, we can be friends, and nobody else interferes with the interaction, like trying to hear what the fish and I are talking about. I won't have to get dressed a certain way to visit the fish. I needn't dress the way my pride dictates, because who's going to see me? I needn't wear any pants. The fish doesn't care. He doesn't read the tabloids. But, if I go out to see a fish other than my own, I'm right back where I started: entertaining others, which is more depleting than visiting the new fish is entertaining."

"Maybe I should go to a coffee house. I find no stimulation in watching ordinary people trying to put the make on other uninteresting people. I can fix my own cup of coffee and not have to look at or talk to other people. No matter where I go, I stimulate others, and have been doing so all my life. It used to be I'd sometimes get stimulated back.”

“If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.”

“I find greater companionship in inert figures, animals & speechless artifacts, for I can enjoy their presence & there is no psychic drain”

“You cannot love everyone; it is ridiculous to think you can.”

“The other exception to the rule regards dealings with masochists. A masochist derives pleasure from being hurt; so denying the masochist his pleasure through-pain hurts him just as much as actual physical pain hurts the non masochist. The story of the truly cruel sadist illustrates this point: The masochist says to the sadist, "beat me." To which the merciless sadist replies, "NO!" If a person wants to be hurt and enjoys suffering, then there is no reason not to indulge him in his wont.”

“Why should I not hate mine enemies―if I "love" them does that not place me at their mercy?”

“Don't let that little pyramid with the bright eye fool you. That's to draw your attention away from the real thing: the big trapezoid beneath it.”

“Love is one of the most intense feelings felt by man; another is hate. Forcing yourself to feel indiscriminate love is very unnatural. If you try to love everyone you only lessen your feelings for those who deserve your love. Repressed hatred can lead to many physical and emotional aliments. By learning to release your hatred towards those who deserve it, you cleanse yourself of these malignant emotions and need not take your pent-up hatred out on your loved ones.”

“Unfortunately for a multitude of occultists, humor is a rare ingredient in their lives. In fact it is their very lack of humor that has impelled them into the arcane and esoteric.”

“There are many who would take my time, I shun them. There are some who share my time, I am entertained by them. There are precious few who contribute to my time, I cherish them.”

“When an independent person commits a wrong, they realize that is it natural to make a mistake―and if he is truly sorry about what he has done, he will learn from it and take care not to do the same thing again. If he is not honestly sorry about what he has done, and knows he will do the same thing over and over, he has no business confessing and asking forgiveness in the first place.”

“Martin Luther dreamed up Protestantism while sitting on the toiled at Wittenberg monastery, and we know what a big movement that became.”

“When ghettos become the mainstream of society, islands of individuality cannot help but harbor an elite.”

“Some religions actually go so far as to label anyone who belongs to a religious sect other than their own a heretic, even though the overall doctrines and impressions of godliness are nearly the same. For example: The Catholics believe the Protestants are doomed to Hell simply because they do not belong to the Catholic Church. In the same way, many splinter groups of the Christian faith, such as the evangelical or revivalist churches, believe the Catholics worship graven images. (Christ is depicted in the image that is most physiologically akin to the individual worshipping him, and yet the Christians criticize "heathens" for the worship of graven images.) And the Jews have always been given the Devil's name.”

“To the Maker the archetype, the self-sustainer, human interaction is usually a waste of the most precious thing in his vital existance: time.”

“I thought, acted, and thereupon found myself removed.”

“Independence advocates practicing a modified form of the Golden Rule. Such an interpretation of this rule is: "Do unto others as they do unto you"; because if you "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you," and they, in turn, treat you badly, it goes against human nature to continue to treat them with consideration. You should do unto others as you would have them do unto you, but if your courtesy is not returned, they should be treated with the wrath they deserve.”

“There is nothing inherently sacred about moral codes. Like the wooden idols of long ago, they are the work of human hands, and what man has made, man can destroy!”

“It's a cinch that if you read it in an occult periodical or paperback, everyone's doing it. That should be your cue to avoid such stuff, lest you be relegated to the same readership level.”

“Truth" never set anyone free. It is only *doubt* which will bring mental emancipation.”

“Self-deceit” but deserves to be repeated here. Another cardinal sin. We must not pay homage to any of the sacred cows presented to us, including the roles we are expected to play ourselves. The only time self-deceit should be entered into is when it’s fun, and with awareness. But then, it’s not self-deceit!”

I Wish That I Knew What Men Really Wished In Their Hearts For Themselves

Take my body until it racks with what is wise.
Make me feel what only a cross can deliver to you in the instant of know!
Crucify me with the insistence of what you Need, not what you Want.

Take me into the depths of your desire,
not the darkness of your perverse.
Free me of my anxiety of the Mind
that wants the sweet release at the end of a leash.

Wreck me for the wealth of Men to watch such a horror.
Break my "Will" in a European Lair,
not a made-up snare that will only maim me.

Bluntly declare your Ownership!!

Disregard other claims.
As they are, or, must only be after-thoughts
 of others that wish to take from you personally
your own freedom to be.

Put back within my core the spirit of myself,
an everlasting fire to find and ignite the flame within.
Allow me to light the path of curiosity
 with this burning desire of the want to learn again.

Burnt I am with the Men of no delight.
 Or that take no pleasure in the written prose of a girl.
For in this land, my land, far from any civilized thoughts it seems,
 humanity hides in their sin
 wallowing in some kind of guilty remorse of what they have done.

Creeps circulate to destroy the innocent.
 Should you cry out or hear anyone whom questions the defining tone of "Why,"
they are thrashed and thrown down to be trodden upon.
This is not to take their life,
 but, to teach a lesson of; Shut-Up!

My body aches for the need to be,
attraction has grown into blindness; a drone I am it seems.
 I do not see what should excite me.

Men no longer need what it is that winds the time
 to deliver what I thought they dreamt of.

What is the value of such a girl that believes
to satisfy the dream of only one Man,
would be like Magic to me.