The ability to enjoy the creative corners of your own mind begins with recognizing you have them. The belief and exploration of such places is for you to find, and enjoy. Sharing such information with anyone is for you to decide. We all are familiar with the negativity which flows so easily from the mouths of others. Especially when you are speaking positively. Or speaking of events that cannot be proved or backed-up with what is referred to as sustainable facts. So, deciding to share anything out of the ordinary with anyone at all, is a personal decision. I have never been as shot down with such deadly force by another human being as when I opened my mouth and said aloud, "I had the most incredible journey in my mind last night.” I was immediately hit, "Doing drugs again,” "Hasn't anyone told you LSD is illegal”. I tried to say as quickly as possible, "No, NO, I meant......”. I didn't even get to finish, they interjected again, "That's not possible, what are you nuts!” I just shut my mouth and curled up into a ball inside myself as this supposed friend of mine went on and on, never shutting her mouth about it. All day wherever we went she said to other people we knew, "Lol, did you know Karen journey's in her mind", "isn't that a joke", lol. The entire joke reeled around.
Last night I removed this post because a very similar thing happened again. The person I live with was on the computer reading or looking up something about "streaming consciousness". He asked me the name of my site and I told him. While reading this piece for the first time I became excited because he was interested in reading my blog. He began to laugh inappropriately, he was only on the first paragraph. The first sign of narcissist is the laughter at something that is not considered funny at all. I did not think that this being titled "The Soul Shatterer" was meant to be an introduction to anything funny. What do I know though, maybe it's funny in the first paragraph to you too. I never thought that laughing at someone else's expense was ever funny. I wrote the first paragraph and what follows off the top of my head several years ago. I want to write a couple of books, this being one of them.
Continued from above:
These words that they utter with such disdain become part of the language that is known to me as "the soul shatterer.” Cruel and unkind for no other reason than this person is mean, they don't even want to hear what you are saying but they certainly have nothing but doubt and disgust about what they are pretending to hear but that you are not even saying.
But, because you shared for the first time, a very personal and incredible experience, it changes you forever about sharing much of anything, metaphysical or not. Why? I believe it is for the following reason, when your soul is shattered with another persons words, the repair of such a fragile and delicate part of yourself is beyond difficult. It is nearly impossible to do. However, understand this, and it truly will only take your own mind to have the mind-set to decide that independence is not separating from the crowd or the world, rather, independence is actually joining the link to Humanity. The mere fact that we can be independent of one another in our thoughts, yet we can stream together as one in our actions is or shows the imaginative capabilities of our minds and explosive natures of our thoughts. Creating a pure, positive energy. Talk about protection, a heat shield or a magnetic force surrounding each of us, put it all together and I bet that sparks would become the enlightenment of the elemental source everyone is searching for independently.
We truly are the most unfortunate/ fortunate gifts to ourselves, yet, we need to be. I am assuming at this juncture that it is this way, in order to progress with firm and positive convictions of ourselves. Independent of each other, yet reliant on one another. I began to wonder if I would ever be clear with myself. Because which is it? Reliant on me or you. Or is it both? Maybe not! Reason for me, I do not want to stream with the negativity and yet I find myself wrapped up in it again and again. I get so mad at myself for being so stupid, falling prey to such cruelness. I kick myself as I try to heal myself from the pain of the words of another person. These words that are uttered seem to just fall out of their mouth. The person has no care or concern, just blah, blah, blah and rambling on as they speak so fluently this language that shatters souls. They must be some linguists, because when they are done before it seems they began, they seem to just turn to go on about their day. They don't even look back.
There I am, left in a big pile of crap, that two seconds ago I would swear was my soul, or at least the identity that I thought was me. Now, I am unrecognizable. I hurt like no other hurt you have ever felt. It is a pain inside your physical being. Yet, ice, aspirin, pain killers, heating pad, no drug touches it. It just hurts, as if the words were an actual pointed spear with an edge of unimaginable poisonous strength that has the piecing explosion of; well, I cannot think of what to compare it to, but you never saw it coming. The exactness of such a strike is done with such expertise and experience that you are certain it was done on purpose. Yet, the shards are still felt, as the razor like wounds begin to bleed inside your very being. Help!, you cry!, plea! and scream, to no avail (silently of course).
Well, I believe it is done on purpose by cruel people who have become soul hunters. I believe that cruelty runs rampant and that people embrace this perceived ability as some new found power play over humanity.
Karen Anastasia Placek
K.A.P.
Written on blog 2/17/2008
Edited on 3/21/2011
Last night I removed this post because a very similar thing happened again. The person I live with was on the computer reading or looking up something about "streaming consciousness". He asked me the name of my site and I told him. While reading this piece for the first time I became excited because he was interested in reading my blog. He began to laugh inappropriately, he was only on the first paragraph. The first sign of narcissist is the laughter at something that is not considered funny at all. I did not think that this being titled "The Soul Shatterer" was meant to be an introduction to anything funny. What do I know though, maybe it's funny in the first paragraph to you too. I never thought that laughing at someone else's expense was ever funny. I wrote the first paragraph and what follows off the top of my head several years ago. I want to write a couple of books, this being one of them.
Continued from above:
These words that they utter with such disdain become part of the language that is known to me as "the soul shatterer.” Cruel and unkind for no other reason than this person is mean, they don't even want to hear what you are saying but they certainly have nothing but doubt and disgust about what they are pretending to hear but that you are not even saying.
But, because you shared for the first time, a very personal and incredible experience, it changes you forever about sharing much of anything, metaphysical or not. Why? I believe it is for the following reason, when your soul is shattered with another persons words, the repair of such a fragile and delicate part of yourself is beyond difficult. It is nearly impossible to do. However, understand this, and it truly will only take your own mind to have the mind-set to decide that independence is not separating from the crowd or the world, rather, independence is actually joining the link to Humanity. The mere fact that we can be independent of one another in our thoughts, yet we can stream together as one in our actions is or shows the imaginative capabilities of our minds and explosive natures of our thoughts. Creating a pure, positive energy. Talk about protection, a heat shield or a magnetic force surrounding each of us, put it all together and I bet that sparks would become the enlightenment of the elemental source everyone is searching for independently.
We truly are the most unfortunate/ fortunate gifts to ourselves, yet, we need to be. I am assuming at this juncture that it is this way, in order to progress with firm and positive convictions of ourselves. Independent of each other, yet reliant on one another. I began to wonder if I would ever be clear with myself. Because which is it? Reliant on me or you. Or is it both? Maybe not! Reason for me, I do not want to stream with the negativity and yet I find myself wrapped up in it again and again. I get so mad at myself for being so stupid, falling prey to such cruelness. I kick myself as I try to heal myself from the pain of the words of another person. These words that are uttered seem to just fall out of their mouth. The person has no care or concern, just blah, blah, blah and rambling on as they speak so fluently this language that shatters souls. They must be some linguists, because when they are done before it seems they began, they seem to just turn to go on about their day. They don't even look back.
There I am, left in a big pile of crap, that two seconds ago I would swear was my soul, or at least the identity that I thought was me. Now, I am unrecognizable. I hurt like no other hurt you have ever felt. It is a pain inside your physical being. Yet, ice, aspirin, pain killers, heating pad, no drug touches it. It just hurts, as if the words were an actual pointed spear with an edge of unimaginable poisonous strength that has the piecing explosion of; well, I cannot think of what to compare it to, but you never saw it coming. The exactness of such a strike is done with such expertise and experience that you are certain it was done on purpose. Yet, the shards are still felt, as the razor like wounds begin to bleed inside your very being. Help!, you cry!, plea! and scream, to no avail (silently of course).
Well, I believe it is done on purpose by cruel people who have become soul hunters. I believe that cruelty runs rampant and that people embrace this perceived ability as some new found power play over humanity.
Karen Anastasia Placek
K.A.P.
Written on blog 2/17/2008
Edited on 3/21/2011
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