Throughout my life I have been very quiet about the real horrors of my childhood. My brother does not speak on it either. I wrote a letter five years ago and my brother read it. He burst into tears and ran outside of the apartment I had at the time. After composing himself, he came back in and sat down across from me. He said, "I had no idea that you remembered."
We did not talk further on the subject. It was very quick. However, it testifies so clearly about the pain that runs so deep inside of us both. I have already written one book. I am going to be working on self-publishing this novel of poetic verse. I wrote it so that I could express the pain in me. I wrote it in hopes that I can help women, men, girls and boys to not get over trauma, but to work through the trauma of molestation, incest, rape and neglect. My book, An Independent Mind, Knot Logic, is the first of a series of books I would like to write. As I become more comfortable with the pain of all that is inside of me, I hope to write in regular verse the stories of the past. Through this venue I will heal the pain within my mind that has kept all of this so secretive. I will do this by helping others and speaking of cults, Churches and the pain of neglect. I continue to try to believe that I can use all that I have been through to help other people to move through the trauma of cults, rape, incest, neglect and abuse.