Dear Mom,

In the beginning, or should I say, when I was younger than today, I believed that you would not test Fate.  I believed the Heavens above would remind you of your Creator and somehow this would warm your Heart.  Who or what you believe to be your Creator is not for me to judge, it is personal and should be kept with you, as your belief, be discreet not assuming.

I wanted to believe that you were capable of choosing left from right.  I wanted to believe that all roads would lead to Spiritual knowledge.  I understand now that I was wrong.  All Roads do have destination points, but you must chose those destinations yourself and you must do this standing independent of what other people may think or ram down your throat.  Each of us are capable of truly understanding the Freedom of Choice and thereupon able to accept every action will have an equal and more than likely an opposite reaction.

I wondered as I was growing-up, and as I watched you go about living your life how you could be so indifferent to the Welfare of other Human Beings.  I would watch, I would listen and as a result, I did learn that the differences between you and I were as much the same as they were also vastly different.  I did not believe in destroying or taking Human Life for granted, as I know from personal experience that you do.  The first and only lesson I recall you ever showed to me.  I could not understand how you could be so Blind and so Deaf towards Human Beings in so much need.  These Men and Women surrounded you each and everyday and it seemed that they were as receptive to the abuse as you were to deliver it to them.  Than I began to realize something, it was not your lack of Sight into this tragedy or the fact that you were unable to Hear or Listen to the fact that they were knowingly allowing this strange abuse.  I realized that you put on these Glasses to be able to see through the needs of all of these people, regardless of if those needs had good or bad intentions, you, just like them, just did what you wanted to do because you can.

I accept you as you are but you may find that the problem lies in this simple thought, "I don't believe, that you have ever accepted yourself that way."  You may find peace of mind should you try accepting yourself, as yourself and then maybe you could find forgiveness for yourself.

Dr. Vuksinick told me last year that you had written the Script for my Life.  I laughed, he smiled, and, I said, "I know, but thanks for telling me, it means so much that somebody like you knows that too." I went on to say, "I believe that it has finally run out of pages, I seem to not have anymore lines to read."  He gave me that loving look of acceptance and gave me a big hug.

Thank you, Mom, for taking me to see this incredible Psychiatrist at Three Years Old.  I was so lucky to have been understood by such a wonderful Man so early in my Life, it set the tone for who I truly have become and always will be. I was even more fortunate as an adult, when for reasons of your own, you walked me back into his office. I don't know why you did this to me, I have to say that it was for the sake of cruelty itself, but thank you because it had that opposite affect I spoke of earlier. The fact he recognized me and knew me so personally, gave such credence to my life, but in truth it was his words that were filled with such wisdom that gave me the desire to continue the Fight for that same Life.  As he put it more eloquently than I, "You are worth it, fight for it."  So much more ended-up being shared between us, however I wish to keep it just between he and I, it makes me feel so good that we were able to speak again and he made me feel something I had not felt in years, loved.

This letter that I write to you, Mother, is in Respect and in the Honor of Dr. Vuksinick and what he did for my Life, however through giving me the most amazing gift of strength in-spite of such horrid circumstances, I am able to make this appeal for your life, in hopes you will be able to forgive yourself for what you have done to so many people without thought or consideration for anyone but yourself.

Vuksinick died last month and I miss him.



LOUIS VUKSINICK
Death Notice

Louis M. Vuksinick
A gifted and beloved psychiatrist and Jungian analyst, Louis Martin Vuksinick, M.D. (Lou) died nobly as he had lived, on Wednesday, October 17, 2012 at home after challenging leukemia and neck cancer for four years. During this time he continued to practice in San Francisco and in Palo Alto where he lived. He is survived by his wife of 30 years, Janet Robinson, the love of his life; four stepchildren; Gregory, Timothy, Anne and Jeffrey Petersen and their partners and seven grandsons; and his sister Maxine Russell of Salt lake City. Born in Spring Glen, Utah, February 27,1934 to Louis L. Vuksinick and Zelpha Skriner, he attended medical school at the University of Utah. Coming to San Francisco in 1959 for his internship at St. Mary's Hospital, he went on to complete his psychiatric residency at Stanford University Medical School 1960-63 and Analytic Training at the C. G. Jung Institute of San Francisco 1974-88. He held leadership and teaching roles in the Department of Psychiatry, McAuley Neurospsychiatric Institute, St. Mary's Hospital 1969-1980. He is noted for his work about the body-psyche connection, and his love of music, especially opera. He will be greatly missed. A Memorial Mass will be held in San Francisco at St. Ignatius Church, 650 Parker Av, Saturday, Nov. 3 at 10 AM. Memorial contributions may be made to the C. G. Jung Institute of San Francisco in his honor.

 R.I.P.